Jay Wren – Page 64 – Be in the Top 1% in Mindset – Leadership

Event Networking for Introverts

Event networking for introverts is never easy. For that matter, even some extroverts feel awkward when networking face to face. There is always that little feeling of what you don’t know.

If networking events are difficult for you, there are things that you can do to make them easier.

I prepare for networking events. When I have not prepared, I have found myself walking around without accomplishing anything and uncertain about how to get started. Here are some things I do before event networking.

Prepare Materials When Event Networking

I take my smartphone. I keep my appointments on my smartphone.

However, I like to work with a pen and paper. I take a leather-bound portfolio with a legal pad. I take notes in pen and ink.

I carry a one inch-thick stack of business cards. I keep my cards in one pocket. I place the cards of the people I meet in a second pocket. When I leave an event with many new contacts, I want to put them into my expanding database of contacts. The cards make building this database possible. For people who do not have cards, I make notes on their contact information on my legal pad.

If there is a brochure for the event, I keep a copy of the brochure in the jacket of my portfolio. This brochure helps me find my way around and contact people as the event moves along.

List Contacts in Advance of Event Networking

I make a list of people I specifically want to meet. By making a list of people I want to meet, I can reduce the stress on me through preparation for seeing the people.

I can also do a better job of seeing the people I need to see.

If there is a list of companies or people in attendance, I get a copy of the list before the event.
If I am at a convention, companies have booths. I email or call people to let them know I will come by their booth.

I do not schedule many appointments during the course of a networking event. Too many things can come up to carry people away and cause people to miss appointments. For the appointments I do schedule, I give people my phone number to call me when their schedule has changed during an event.

Things to Say When Event Networking

Remember some basics.

If speaking with new people makes you uncomfortable, prepare things to say and questions to ask.
Show an interest in the other person’s discussion
Ask the person questions about points that interest you.
Congratulate the person upon successes.
Listen with empathy. Connect with what the person is saying from their point of view. Ask questions about how they reached conclusions or solved problems.

The Positive Side of Being an Introvert When Event Networking

Anxiety is a signal that tells us to expect things. If we use that signal as a message to prepare for our meetings, we can do a better job of getting ready and our meetings will go better.

Remember that everyone gets nervous sometimes. It is part of being human. Having a little anxiety is okay. It is even a good thing when I use the feelings to plan and prepare for successful event marketing.

Are You in the Wrong Job?

If you feel unappreciated, are you in the wrong job? By unappreciated, I mean that you experience these things.

Your turn has come up for promotion, but the promotion goes to your peers or perhaps people who have come into your company and moved past you.
Your company brings in management from the outside for jobs that should have.
Your peers repeatedly get credit for the work you are doing.
Your boss takes credit for your work.
Your pay raise is smaller than the pay raises everyone else gets.
Everything people say about you is negative.
No one asks you to join in at breaks or after work.
You believe that nothing you do makes a difference.
You feel like an outsider.

What to Do When You Feel Unappreciated

Determine the cause of your problem.

Are you doing the things to deserve praise and promotions? If you are not doing what you should be doing, get busy. Correct your mistakes. Eliminate under performance.

Is Your Boss the Reason You Feel Unappreciated?

In an article titled “Are you appreciated at work?” in SFGate, Kim Thompson wrote,

“If you asked the majority of employees the reasons for leaving a good job you might hear comments that involve a lack of appreciation rather than compensation. Resigning from a job may sound like an impulsive choice. However, according to a Gallup poll, at least 75 percent of the reasons for voluntary turnover can be influenced by managers.”

Is your boss the reason you feel unappreciated? Can you work with your boss to makes changes? If not, you can consider your options outside your current company.

Steps to a Job Change

Prepare your resume. Make it factual. Use a bullet format. Highlight your accomplishments.
Build a contact list for your job change.
Expand your network.
Set up a specific job-change email address that includes your name.
Turn to your friends outside the company for referrals and references.
If you have a friend working where you would like to work, ask that person for help in getting an interview.
Find companies that are hiring for the job that you want.
Build relationships with people in the company and ask them to help you get an interview.

Find a place where you can do meaningful work with people who will reward you and appreciate your efforts.

Don’t get stuck in a job where you feel unappreciated. Get another job!

Going from Self-Conscious to Self-Confident

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Going from self-conscious to self-confident is a simple process of developing skills. Being self-conscious is painful and pointless. Being self-confident is healthy and rewarding.

Self-conscious people have to think about themselves. They are less aware of the world in front of them and around them. They have a heightened level of self-awareness.

Being around other people makes self-conscious people feel embarrassed, insecure, and anxious. For some people, just the thought of being around other people can produce these feelings.

Everyone experiences self-consciousness sometimes. Being hungry, tired, in a new situation, or doing something embarrassing can make a person self-conscious. Losing a shirt button or blouse button right before a meeting can happen to anyone and make the person feel self-conscious.

People who are self-confident don’t have to think about themselves. They are not cocky or narcissistic. They can enjoy life with a clear mind. They can become more successful through their attention their activities.

When being self-conscious affects the quality of a person’s life or career, it is time to do something about the problem.

There are simple steps for turning self-consciousness into self-confidence. Start with writing down the situations that make you feel self-conscious. Name the feeling you have. For example, if a compliment makes you feel embarrassed, write something like, “Every time someone gives me a compliment, I feel embarrassed.” Then develop this simple skill to deal with the feeling.

When someone gives you a compliment, just say, “Thank you.” Then smile.

Being around strangers makes many people feel self-conscious. When going into places where there are strangers, go with friends.

If you are self-conscious about meeting people, develop a simple skill for handling introductions. Say, “It is nice to meet you, [person’s name].”

If you feel self-conscious in a conversation, become a good listener. Ask questions. Speak slowly.

If you are self-conscious about your appearance, you can reduce your concerns by getting clothes that fit. Grooming or getting a haircut can help people feel more comfortable. Exercise and eat healthy. Develop some acceptance skills. Accept your body as it is even while you are working to change it. You don’t have to like it. You just have to stop thinking about it. There is no perfect body any way.

Public speaking is terrifying for some people. To develop public-speaking skills there are classes you can take or organizations you can join. I have learned to be comfortable speaking to any size audience. I don’t think about the crowd. I prepare a presentation that has information the audience needs to know. I rehearse to the point that I can say what I need to say without thinking. I take notes with me for reference. Then I focus on what I am saying. By focusing on what I am saying, I give the crowd what they came to hear: my message.

The point is that you can become less self-consciousness and live a better life. You can take simple steps to develop skills. You can take classes to develop skills for self-confidence. You can even get help from professional coaches or psychology specialists. You can turn self-consciousness into self-confidence.

Small Business Saturday: Jobs Where You Are the Boss

Small business Saturday reminds us that there is opportunity in working for yourself.

To begin self-employment, start simple. The goal is to do the deal, to sell something.

William Procter, co-founder of consumer products giant Procter & Gamble, started his first business from skills he learned as an apprentice who dipped candles. When he settled in Cincinnati, he started a candle company that he merged with the candle and soap company of his brother-in-law, James Gamble.

Paul Jobs, who was Steve Jobs’ father, bought, repaired, and resold cars. He was outstanding at bargaining for parts, a perfectionist for finishing mechanical details, and a great negotiator for selling cars for a cash profit.

I have known people who supplemented their incomes through starting yard-care and landscape companies. I know other people who rigged out a van as a tool truck and turned home repairs into a full-time business.

I have a friend who set up a motorcycle repair shop in his garage. He was a full-time electrician and a part-time motorcycle mechanic. Through this business, he extended his love for motorcycles into a revenue stream, and he met other riders who shared his love for motorcycles.

Some people turn yard sales into flea market businesses. Earlier in our marriage, my fantastic wife made ornaments for seasonal celebrations and sold them over a few weekends at a flea market. I am really proud to think of some of the terrific things she made and that many people ay still be enjoying those ornaments today.

The Internet is a fairly easy place to start. There are out of the package e-commerce website kits. Craigslist and eBay offer opportunities to sell things online. There are at least a half of a dozen million-dollar businesses on eBay. There are dozens of people making money writing books on how to create a business on eBay.

So keep it simple. Do the deal. Sell something. Start your own small business and find out if you love being your own boss.

Saying ‘No’ Without Feeling Like a Jerk

“A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.” Mahatma Gandhi

Saying ‘No’ without feeling like a jerk or acting as if a jerk is an important skill.

You can’t say “Yes” to everything. You will end up with things that you do not want. You will end doing things that you do not want to do. You will waste your money. You will waste your time.

If you are representing a company, you have to be able to say “No” to help your company. You have to be able to say “No” to workers who ask you to do work that are not your job. You have to say “No” to invitations that are not good for you or your company. If you are a buyer, you have to say “No” to vendors who want to pressure you.

For many people, saying “No” is difficult.

They do not want to hurt people’s feelings.

They do not want to haggle. They do not want the pressure for them to say “Yes.”

They do not want to sound like a jerk.

They do not want to feel like a jerk.

However, saying ‘No’ is important. Saying “No” is just part of a healthy life. It is okay to say ‘No;’ developing some simple ways to say ‘No’ may help.

“No, thank you”
“I’ll pass.”
“ I do not want any.”
“ I appreciate your offer, but my answer is, ‘No.'”
“Not for me.”

If you find yourself under pressure to say “yes,” just stop responding to the person applying the pressure. I was negotiating buying a car one day. I could see that the sales rep and his manager were just going to continue to pressure me to accept their offer.

I said that I needed to take a break. I went home. The sales rep called me later and told me that the car dealer had a policy that buyers could not leave until the negotiation was final. I said then the deal was final. My answer was “No.”

Telling someone “No” has emotional impact on both sides. Saying “No” is not always easy. Hearing “No” is sometimes unpleasant.

However, for your career and your personal life, you must say “No” to things that are not in your best interest.

What to Do When You Hate Your Job And Feel Stuck

“Oh, you hate your job? Oh my god, well why didn’t you say so? You know there’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY. They meet at the bar.” Drew Carey

Do you hate your job and feel stuck? You are not alone. According to a Gallup report, 87% do not connect with the job they do everyday.

Other headlines across the Internet show that 70% to 80% hate their job.

Is there a job you would like but do not the skills for that job? Perhaps there is even a job in your current company that you would like to do if you were qualified.

There are ways to develop those skills.

First, find the skills that you need. The process is easy. Your motivation is strong, because you are working on things you love not things that make you hate your job.

Connect with people who have jobs that you would like to have. People often love to talk about themselves. Become a great listener. Learn to ask good questions about what these people do.

As you learn things from people, read and research what they have told you. As you learn more about what people do, you can ask questions that lead to skills development.

Make connections with managers who hire people for the type of job that you want. Learn from these managers what they want in the people they hire.

Read job descriptions for the job you want. You can find job descriptions on Internet job boards. Make a list of the skills for these jobs. Focus on the skills and requirements sections of the job descriptions.

Second, develop the skills that you need.
Evening classes consume time and cost money. However, the time and money may have extra benefits that offer certification or credentials upon completion. Certifications and credentials are often not only necessary but will look great on your resume for the rest of your career.

Volunteering is a way to connect with people and opportunities for skills development. People are more willing to let you learn on the job when they do not have to pay you.

Create your own skills development program through free or paid Internet courses and textbook research. Set a point where you want to develop your skills. Select training programs that will enable you to develop your skills to that point.

For example, I wanted to develop some Internet programming skills. I did not need to become an expert. However, I completed a couple hundred short lessons and reached the point I wanted to reach. I still learn a few new things on a regular basis.

When you start a program that you develop yourself, you may feel that you have jumped into the middle of the ocean with no land in sight.

You just do not know what you do not know. However, as you learn more, you will find that the pieces will come together into useful skills.

The Internet has countless free education and skills programs. The Khan Academy is the best example of a free online education program. YouTube has thousands of programs on every subject.

For other programs not on the Khan Academy or YouTube, just enter the name of the skills in a search engine. You will find complete courses with dozens to even hundreds of lessons.

You do not have to hate your job. Develop the skills to find a job you love.

Job Security: How to Stop Scaring Yourself

“Most people are as happy as they make up their mind to be.” Abraham Lincoln

Job Security: How to Stop Scaring Yourself

Who doesn’t have days when they worry about things going badly? Sometimes these worries are about job security. Job security worries are often scary.

Here are five key elements to understanding worrying.

No matter how great the likelihood of something happening to our job security, worrying about it only exists in our head. When we worry, we are scaring ourselves with our imagination. We have to imagine that threats to our job security will actually cost us our job.

Worrying about job security requires thinking about something in the future. No one knows the future. If we have a job today, we have job security today. An oft-repeated idea is that people have many problems, most of them never happen.

Worrying about job security does not offer solutions. We find solutions to scary situations when we stop worrying and let our minds give us solutions. The solution to job security is thinking clearly and making good decisions.

Worrying about job security wastes time and makes us tired.

Two thousand years ago, Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger wrote,

“There is nothing so wretched or foolish as to anticipate misfortunes. What madness it is in your expecting evil before it arrives!”

The anxiety of worrying about job security threatens our health.

A better way to deal with job security anxiety is to start with healthy living:

Eat healthy.
Avoid caffeine.
Take breaks to relax.
Exercise.
Write what we feel.
Talk to someone.
Read, watch, and listen to positive information.

So what can you do to lower or end job security problems? Take some practical steps.

Stop worrying and start working. If you are focused on working, you won’t have time to worry.

Develop new skills that will give you job security.

Identify the things that could threaten your job security. If you can fix them, fix them.

If getting job security where you work is out of your control, privately seek another job.

Prepare your resume.

Talk to friends you trust.

When you are off work, look for classified job listings.

Apply for a job directly with companies where you would like to work.

Do not worry about job security. Create job security through doing a good job where you are or finding a better job somewhere else.

The Best Way to Get the Job You Want

The best way to get the job you want is to go to the places that have that type of job. This statement sounds obvious. But many people never understand this fact.

They check the job boards. They register with a recruiter. They hear about jobs from their friends. Don’t these people get the job want? Sometimes. What they usually get is the job that is easy to find.

There are risks in using job boards, recruiters, and friends. If your company is sourcing job boards, your company can see your resume listed there. As for recruiters and friends, some recruiters and friends tell the wrong people that you are looking for a job.

So how do you get the job you want?

First, use the Internet to find the companies in your area.

Search for jobs in a search engine. Not a job search engine. Use a real search engine. Use Google or Bing.

Enter phrases like these.

Best companies in [name of city]
Jobs in [name of city]
All companies in [name of city]
[name of skills] jobs

You will find hundreds of companies in your area. Pick the companies where you can get the job you want. Location. Type of job. Industry. Your skills.

Check to see if you know anyone at the company that has the job you want. Personal referrals can help you. They can help you apply to the right place. They can help you prepare for an interview. They can let you know if the company really is the place where you want to work.

Check the company website. Companies list jobs on their website. If you see the job you want, apply for that job. If you can apply at the company’s office, do that. Some companies will interview walk-in applicants on the spot.

If the company does not have an opening for the job you want but takes on-going applications, complete an application. Follow up with the company once a month. You can still get the job you want when the job is available.

Get Your Job Done Fast.

Start by setting your own rules for email. In 1989, Tim Berners-Lee invented the World Wide Web. He put his personal rules on email on the website World Wide Web Consortium. He wrote eleven points for sending email. He put these points under these three headings.

“Before you email me.”
“What not to email.”
“What you can email.”

With these points, he helps people know which emails to use for which purpose. He tells people which types of attachments he will not open. He tells people which types of attachments he will open.

You will get your job done fast when people know how to work with you efficiently and effectively.

Read for content. The title and the first paragraph of an email or article give you the content. If you do not need the content, delete the email or close the browser page. You will get your email job done fast.

Safely unsubscribe from spam. You will get your job done fast when you only receive what you need to receive. Nearly everyone gets spam from valid companies trying to sell something. Although these companies you in to their email list, you can safely opt out by selecting the unsubscribe options in the email

Emails from unknown sources that have nothing but a URL are malicious. Delete them without thinking twice and you will get your job fast.

Emails with zipped attachments can harm your computer. If you don’t recognize the sender and if you don’t, delete these email. Do not open the attachment. If you do not harm your computer, you will get your job done fast.

Set a time limit on reading your email. Ten minutes should do and you will get your job done fast. Read your email twice a day: first thing in the morning, last thing in the afternoon. If you quit going to your email file, you will get your job done fast.

Ask people to call you if something is urgent. You can get your job done fast if people are helping you with urgent things.

If the answer to the email question is, “yes” or “no,” reply “Yes” or “No.” Writing shorter emails will help you get your job done fast.

Unless there is money involved, do not respond to emails to schedule phone calls. People who want to speak with each other, call each other. You can get your job done fast when you quit wasting time with people who are not willing to help you with urgent matters.

List five things to do each day. Line each one out as you complete it. You will stay focused and get your job done fast. If your job is processing email instructions and attachments, email goes on your list of five things to do each day. Set a timer. Complete your work within four hours. Focusing on your priorities will help you get your job done fast.

Do not go to a meeting you can cover with a phone call. Do not make a phone call you can cover with an email. Do not send an email you can handle with a text. Priorities are a great way to get you job done fast.

Only call people at times when they answer their phone. If the secretary leaves at 5:00 PM and the person answers the phone after 5:00 PM, call the person after 5:00 PM. Not wasting time on call screening will help you get your job done fast.

Do not call people between 12:00 PM and 1:00 PM. They are eating.

Not do Social media and personal email before 6:00 PM. You cannot get your job done fast when you are playing on the job.

Skip Surveys and polls. They are a waste of your time and keep you from getting your job done fast.

You Have Enough Talent. Now Work on Your Skills.

You Have Enough Talent. Now Work on Your Skills. Your skills will create your success. Don’t let your feelings about your talent discourage you from success.

“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” Albert Einstein

We’ve all known the kids with talent. These are the gifted students. They are instantly successful. They have math talent. They develop math skills easily. They have science talent. They develop science skills easily. They have talent for foreign language. They develop foreign language skills easily.

In “THE TALENT MYTH, Are smart people overrated,” The New Yorker, Malcolm Gladwell explains that a high IQ is not the most important factor to success. More important than IQ is common sense and how well you work with other people. Gladwell emphasizes the development of people skills.

In the beginning of the school year, the teacher can see which students have talent. These kids know the answers immediately. As the school year moves along, more kids become members of the smart kids group. These kids do their homework. These kids have less talent. By doing their homework, they can give the correct answers just as quickly as the kids who had talent. These kids with less talent develop the same skills as the talented kids. They get the same grades. In terms of results, it does not matter whether these kids have talent or they just work hard. They are on the principal’s honor roll. They are in the National Honor Society.

Some kids show talent the first very first day of school in the first grade. Other excellent students quickly become successful students. They immediately develop school skills. Each year, their skills grow.

Often talented students fall behind other students. These talented students do not continue to develop skills.

Some kids start late. These kids do not have to get lost. They can do extra homework. They can take classes during the summer. They can get tutoring for their weak skills. They can catch up with the students with great skills.

If you are struggling in your career, remember that it is never too late to develop new skills. Focus on skills that will help you become successful. Have confidence in your value. Eliminate procrastination. Do one thing each day to build your skills. Each year, your skills will grow through the daily steps you have taken to become a more valuable professional.