Jay Wren – Page 53 – Be in the Top 1% in Mindset – Leadership

5 Ways to Destroy Yourself Online

There are many ways to destroy yourself online. Here are 5 things I try to avoid.

Trolling and Trolls

I love Internet forums. I read forums for fun and for information.

But forums have a sneaky way of getting readers into a blind date with a troll. A few months ago, I made the mistake of giving my opinion as opposed to the facts on a forum, only to find that a troll challenged me to explain myself. Answering the person would only have made the conversation grow. How wonderful, I could have a relationship with a troll! I deleted the comment.

On a gut level, the idea of trolling has some appeal. You know, you create a sneaky identity just to sound off with your opinions and set people right. But this tactic has a price, especially when people lift your covers. I read an article a few months ago about a politician who spent $35,000 to find the identity of a troll. And he found him!

Occasionally, I read an offensive post, something intended to tick people off, at least tick some people. These posts have a magic for creating rants and counter rants. People who know how to troll take as much or more pleasure in making people angry as they do in attracting people who agree with them. Reacting to trolling just raises the post in forum streams. I just let it go, let it go, let it go. ♫ ♫ ♫

Internet Policing

Wouldn’t it be great if you could make everyone on the Internet either agree with you or shut the heck up? You betcha. I’ve tried. But they don’t shut up. They just come back and post more stuff to tick you off. There is no policing Internet forums. I can either embrace them or avoid them.

Politics

The web is rife with political stuff during political seasons. Most people have a bias more than a brain when it comes to politics. Politicians do not give people information. They give people sound bites, clickbait and headlines to chum the waters for political fish. People can rise to the bait suck it up. But political chum is less cool in business and social forums. When I see people posting chum in my Internet feeds, I unfollow them. See ya, not. Don’t want your tweets. Don’t want your face on Facebook. Don’t want your political wisdom on LinkedIn. No, no, no, not now, not ever.

I don’t unfriend them or disconnect from them all the time. I just unfollow Friends Who Post Politics on the Internet.

Stupid Stuff

Wow, the Internet is immediate and permanent. And that’s a long time! I see screen captures of deleted Tweets, Facebook posts, and Instagram on the Internet all the time.

I have posted and deleted material I later thought might possibly be sketchy. When my gut tells me that I am posting something sketchy, I side with my gut. There is absolutely nothing I can post in a forum that is worth my reputation.

8 Things Successful People Bring to a Business Meeting

Business Meeting: Meeting preparation is important. Equally important is having the right tools. What should you bring to a meeting?

No One is Competitive Without the Right Equipment. www.jaywren.com

Business Meeting

What you bring to a business meeting is as important as the things you say or do in a business meeting. Getting to a business meeting to discover that you do not have the things you need is not only embarrassing, it is often a business-meeting killer. I recommend that you buy a portfolio case or a briefcase that you use just for meetings. Keep the case stocked with the materials that you will take to every meeting.

When organizing your meeting case, make sure you bring the following items.

Bring several copies of presentations.

You should have a copy for your own use and a copy for each person on the meeting schedule. Take extra copies for people who are not on the schedule but who might come into the meeting unannounced. Sometimes having unexpected people join the meeting is a sign that the people are interested in what you have to say or show.

Bring a list of the attendees.

Having this list will help you organize your notes about questions people have. The list can also help you remember people’s names and the role of the people in the meeting.

Bring a list of recommendations.

Having a list of recommendations adds power to your professional credibility and creates excitement about the quality of your work.

A Word of Caution: In an interview, be careful about leaving a copy of your recommendations with the hiring company. Companies should not be contacting your references without your approval.

Bring a brag book or portfolio.

This book has samples of your work so that people can see the range of your success.

Bring your laptop.

If you have powerhouse presentations that you can show more examples of your work, you can use your laptop as a dynamic tool.

Bring business cards.

Some people see business cards as a way to verify your employment and verify your job title. They show people that you are who you say you are.

Bring a notepad.

You need to keep track of contact and company information that you learn during your meetings. A notepad is an effective way to make notes without distracting people the way using a smartphone or laptop might distract people when you are taking notes.

Bring three or four pens.

The extra pens help you relax that you have a pen that works. In addition, it is wise to make sure you can help an attendee who does not have a pen for taking notes.

10 Winning Steps to a Successful Job Search

uccessful job search comes from taking simple steps. Here are ten powerful ideas for landing your next job.

JOB CHANGE TIMING

“The Best Time to Change Jobs”

Changing jobs is one of the most stressful experiences in a person’s life. That statement does not mean that job changes do not bring high rewards. Getting married, having children, and buying a house are also among the most stressful experiences in a person’s life. Yet these experiences are rewarding. Read more.

To make any major life change successful and rewarding requires preparation, planning, and timing.

INTERVIEW PREPARATION

“12 Things You Should Not Do In a Job Interview”

An interview is a critical step to getting a job. Preparing for your interview and making good choices in handling your interview questions can turn your interview into a job offer. Here are twelve things you should not do and suggestions for the correct things to do in a job interview. Read more.

INTERVIEWING QUESTIONS

“How To Handle The Interview Question What Is Your Greatest Weakness?”

I made the mistake of answering this question honestly during an interview for a promotion. I did get the promotion.

However, my new supervisor had an annoying habit of reminding me of my answer to that question during our work together.

Being able to answer this question is part of standard interview preparation. What should I have answered when he asked me about my greatest weakness? Here are some options that would have helped me. Read more.

JOB OFFERS

“How to Negotiate a Job Offer”

Employers are more open to negotiating a job offer when they can see that there is a real shortfall between what they have offered you and what you have in your current job.

The simple way to approach the matter is to make a straightforward presentation of the facts involved. Read more.

JOB OPTIONS

“Finding Jobs That Match Your Skills”

This lists compares skills to jobs to help you find jobs that you will enjoy and do successfully. Enter any of these jobs into the Job Search engine to find career opportunities. Read more.

SELF-EMPLOYMENT

“Is it Time for You to Start Your Own Business?”

Prior to entering recruiting, I worked for two terrific companies: Procter & Gamble and Polaroid Corporation. I did many things that I loved to do. I took pride in my companies’ brands. I loved giving presentations. I enjoyed the travel. I took fascination in new product introductions. I found joy in absolutely crushing the competition in shelf space, ad space, and in sales. However, I had two frustrations. Read more.

RECRUITERS

“Should You Work with a Recruiter?”

Whether or not you should work with a recruiter depends upon your comfort level in working with other people about your income and upon your career goals and your urgency in finding employment. The best recruiters can help you in many ways. Read more.

NETWORK CONNECTIONS

“Your Know Network”

Today I so instinctively take the easy way to finding information and contacts. I go to LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, Job Boards, Business Directories, Google Search, and forget that the best network I have is the one made up of the people I already know. Read more.

COUNTER OFFERS

“Counter Offers: The Reason That You Resigned Seldom Goes Away If You Stay.”

Companies give counter offers when the timing works against them to lose a person. However, unless the reason you resigned have gone away, taking a counter offer means that you are returning to work where have shown disloyalty by looking for another job. Read more.

GETTING MAXIMUM RESULTS WITH LINKEDIN

Three bonus articles on LinkedIn success.

“How to Pick a LinkedIn Group”

Different LinkedIn groups have different purposes. Some groups are directories of people in the same industry or who have the same interest. These groups are terrific for building networks or creating databases. You can pick nearly any business sector and find that there is LinkedIn group for that business sector. From there, you can build relationships to expand your network. Read more.

LinkedIn: Can People Tell that I Have Looked at their Profile?

LinkedIn: Who Can See My Profile?

Intelligence Versus The Mental Zone Of Success

he Mental Zone of Success

The mental zone of success enables us to live in the present moment, work stress free, and perform from a higher mental level.

From 1998-2001, Jason Williams was the starting point guard for the Sacramento Kings. The February 15, 2001 Sports Illustrated cover featured Williams along with teammates Chris Webber, Vlade Divac, Doug Christie, and Peja Stojakovic. The caption read, “The Greatest Show on Court.”

As the point guard, Williams was the axle of the wheel. He brought the ball down the court and initiated the plays.

Williams did things so quickly and that were so unorthodox that he dazzled the fans and confused opponents.

In one instance, he hopped three feet off the floor while dribbling down the court at full speed.

The referee called “traveling.”

The hop happened quickly. It was confusing. I am not sure what the referee thought he saw, but it wasn’t traveling. Traveling would mean that Williams had held the ball for two or more steps. Williams had simply hopped while dribbling down the court.

This play, dubbed “the dribble hop,” became part of Williams’s unconscious arsenal, which also included the elbow bump pass, the behind the back pass to himself, and countless variations of the no-look pass.

Is Jason Williams intelligent?

I remember sitting next to a Sacramento Kings fan watching a game during Williams’s second year on the team. The fan commented, “Jason Williams won’t last long in the NBA. He isn’t smart enough.”

I didn’t know what to make of his reference to a player’s intelligence when that player’s performance was raising the performance level of his entire team.

But is he intelligent? To me, the question is irrelevant, because of the level of Williams’s play.

From what I have read of him, I doubt that he really cares about what people think of his intelligence. He is intelligent enough to learn the schemes, formations, and plays of NBA teams, and to play in the NBA from the 1998-1999 season through the 2010-2011 season. In 2006, he was a member of the Miami Heat team that won the NBA championship.

He played ten more years after the person sitting next to me made that comment that Williams was not intelligent.

What Jason Williams did was more of a mental flow than conscious decision-making. Chris Weber once referred to Williams as a real “gym rat” who took a basketball with him wherever he went. The things that Williams did came from an enormous natural ability refined through thousands of hours of playing basketball. In practice, Williams and his teammates worked hours to come together as a team. On the court, they weren’t thinking. They had done all their thinking in practice. The team may not have even been aware of their surroundings. There was no crowd, no coach, nor clock.

They were playing in the zone.

What happens when we leave that zone and start analyzing what we are doing?

For me, the results have not been good.

I played high school football. I remember a flair pass play that my team ran. The play was very simple. One of the running backs would slide out of backfield for a short pass beyond the line of scrimmage. I would throw a short pass to that running back.

As a quarterback, I had thrown flair passes hundreds of times. Quarterbacks often throw flair passes when the team is warming up. If the receiver is open, the completion is nearly a given.

I say “nearly a given.” In one game, my coach called a timeout and had me come over to the sideline. He told me to throw a flair pass to the right halfback. After telling me what play to run, he looked me in the eye and said, “Thread the needle.”

I asked, “Thread the needle?”

The next thing that happened was the coach was explaining the metaphor. “Yeah, you know. Throw the ball precisely to the receiver. Put it right in his arms.”

I started thinking about how to throw a pass that I had thrown hundreds of time.

When I dropped back to throw this flair pass, I failed to lead the receiver. He had to reach back for the ball. He dropped it.

Some people spend their lives in the mental zone of success.

Everyone has the ability to play in the zone. From chess players to typist, high performance people find themselves working intuitively. They are not analyzing their actions. They are above alert. They are working in the present moment.

4 Traits of Highly Successful People

Highly successful people do many things that make them successful. Here are four traits that enable them to keep a clear head, make better decisions, do more, and have a well-balanced life.

Highly successful people focus on solutions.

They don’t obsess about things that worry them. Worry helps us by calling our attention to the problems that face us in the future. Successful people don’t allow themselves to ruminate over the future. They see opportunities, solutions, and success. They create plans. They take action. They are too busy becoming successful to spend time worrying. They are highly effective in focusing on solutions.

This is a lesson that I have to teach myself from time to time. When I find that I am rolling the same painful thoughts through my head and come to no solution, I know now that I am worrying and that my worrying is stealing my success. I turn to the things in front of me on my desk and work on the next right thing.

Highly successful people pause when they feel panicked.

They know to pause when they feel that urgent need to fight or flee. They pause and clear their mind. They take a deep breath. They step away from the problem. They bring in other people to help them make wise choices that lead to success.

They don’t dash off text messages that make problems worse. They don’t become embroiled in arguments that ruin relationships.

Sometimes, I write out things I want to say to people in an email and send the email to myself. This exercise alone allows me to prevent my fear or anger from controlling my actions.

Highly successful people get in and get things done.

I worked with a recruiter who would drop her kids off at school, go straight to her office, and work until 3:00 PM. She would then pick up her kids, drive home, and prepare dinner. Where many recruiters work forty to fifty-hour hours a week to fill twenty jobs a year, she would fill seventy-five to one hundred jobs a year and work thirty-five hours a week. I examined her routine very carefully, and she did very few things different from other recruiters. She just did them more quickly.

Highly successful people don’t work around the clock.

Highly successful people live a balanced life. They work hard. Sometimes they push themselves to finish a project, even weeks at a time. But they know to take breaks. They take time for their family. They take time to give to their communities and their causes. They make wise choices in the food they eat. They take time to exercise. They take time to rest. They take time for recreation and entertainment.

Now that I have a virtual office, I find that it is far too easy to stay at my desk. The way I break away is to decide that I will step away from my desk to do one simple thing. When I have finished that task, I am often able to do other things away from my desk. Also, I schedule things with people outside my work–my family or my friends. These appointments enable me to do those things that help me to have a balanced life and be more productive when I am working.

5 Winning Steps to Turn Interview Jitters into Energy and Confidence

Interview jitters are a form of stage fright.

If job interviews give you the jitters, you are not alone. Everyone experiences some feelings of uncertainty from time to time.

Applicants know that another person or other people are judging the things they say and the things they do. They fear rejection. Many job applicants are nervous before a job interview. A bad case of the interview jitters works against you. Instead of having a clear mind, you think less clearly and effectively. At a time when want to feel poised and confident, you feel tense and uncomfortable.

There are winning steps to turn the job interview jitters into energy and confidence.

Have a light, healthy snack before your interview.

Being hungry or loaded with caffeine can make you feel nervous. Take a health bar and a bottle of water with you. Find a comfortable place to relax. Enjoy your health bar and bottle of water about thirty minutes before your interview. Give your body time to digest the snack and get the food into your system.

Reduce the amount of caffeine you eat or drink.

You might avoid chocolate bars. They are great for energy. The sugar and caffeine can get you energy boost. However, as the sugar wears off, you can feel an energy drop. The caffeine can leave you feeling a little on edge. If you enjoy coffee or caffeinated soft drinks, you may want to avoid them before your interview. Caffeine from chocolate or from coffee or soft drinks added to the adrenaline of having interview pressure can give you a heavy case of the jitters.

Prepare thoroughly for your job interview.

Know the details of the company. Know the details of the job for which you are interviewing. Review your resume. Know how to discuss your experience in terms of how are qualified for the job.

Prepare questions for the people who will interview you.

Having questions will show that you are interested in the question. Having your questions written out will help you remember to ask the questions that you will need answered.

Remember to breath.

Baseball players use this simple technique often. Watch pitchers right before the windup or batters right before stepping into the batter’s box. The players will take one or two deep breaths. You don’t need to master any complex breathing meditation. Just breathe.

Related articles

Going from Self-Conscious to Self-Confident
Overcoming Intimidating Titles
Turn Your Career Worries into Career Plans
Job Security: How to Stop Scaring Yourself
Clearing the Mental Clutter of Job Stress

Correcting People On The Internet

Correcting people on the Internet feels so satisfying while I am writing my comment. But is it good for me to judge others and police the Internet?

By trying to correct people who post an article, I draw attention to the article.

On LinkedIn, when I comment on an article, my comment makes the article appear in my activity feed and in the activity feed of all the people who follow me.

Then, if people comment on the article in my LinkedIn activity feed, the article appears in their activity feed and in the activity feed of all the people who follow them. The article spreads likes the flu.

Not every activity feed reposts articles the way that LinkedIn’s activity feed does. However, even on activity feeds that don’t automatically repost articles, I draw attention to an article I don’t like by simply commenting on it.

Policing the Internet can cost me relationships.

As much as I want to fix what we see on the Internet, the effort can backfire. Nobody likes people who think they know everything. Not only do I risk burning a bridge with the person I am correcting, I can burn bridges with people who read my comments.

There are better ways to solve the problem than trying to fix people.

There is little chance of changing the opinion of people who like an article. We all tend to see what they want to see and believe what they want to believe. On social, religious, and political issues, our feelings override our judgement. When people argue, they end up more convinced of their own beliefs than before they started discussing the problem.

I try to think the way successful people think when they are making good decisions. I back away from things that anger me.
I stop following the people who annoy me.
Sometimes, I write my rant on a blank document and then close the document without saving it. I release the tension without getting involved in the problem and making it worse.
If the article has an important point, I talk with people whose opinion I value instead of dealing with the issue in public.
And I write an article about the things that I have learned and post that article on the Internet.

Can You Get Rich by Continually Changing Jobs?

Can you get rich by continually changing jobs? Is job-hopping for more money smart or stupid? The answer to those questions depends on the answer to five simple questions.

Is job-hopping for more money smart?

The answer to that question depends on the answer to these five questions.

What is the difference of the total package between the job where you are working and the job where you have an offer?

Are you walking away from retirement savings, profit sharing, vacation, medical coverage, and other benefits? An increase in income is just one part of the package.

What are your promotion opportunities where you are?

Promotions can greatly increase your short-term and long-term earnings. Changing jobs for more money can cost you in the long end when you career continues to move laterally.

What additional costs do you incur in your new job?

In “Hidden Expenses at a New Job,” I detail the costs that can erase a pay raise and even put you at a reduction in income at your new job.

Is the place where you are going somewhere that you can stay for the long haul?

Some hiring companies have a dim view of people who change jobs in less than a year or two. They have an even dimmer view of people who change jobs every two years repeatedly. Companies invest money and time in hiring and training people. They want to keep good people to continue to get value out of their investment. They don’t want to hire flakes who will quit every time another company offers a fifteen percent increase.

What is reality?

As a recruiter, I placed hundreds of people in new jobs. The average pay raise for these people changing jobs was two and one half times greater than their annual pay raises at their current or previous company. They came out ahead through these job changes.

Pay raises were not involved in all job these changes. In some cases, people accepted jobs for lateral pay, because the new job fit their needs for various reason.

On the other hand, I placed some people who increased their income fifteen to twenty percent or more. Obviously, pay raises through job changing ever two to three years will result in a person making a lot more money.

But I never saw anyone who was able to change jobs continually for more money. I did see people who found it increasing difficult to find a new job when they had an employment history of job-hopping.

3 Steps to Job Search Success

3 Steps to Job Search Success

Make your job search a success with these three simple steps.

First, you do the job search basics.

Write a terrific resume.
Write a template for a great cover letter.
Polish your online profile.

Second, you rapidly expand your network.

Job search is a numbers game.

Contacting more people will increase the likelihood that you get a job.

In terms of numbers of prospects or shoppers, getting a job is similar to running a retail store. If the store has no shoppers, the store will have no sales. If shoppers line up out the door, the store has greater odds of selling products and services.

Begin connecting with people who can hire you and with people who can connect you with people who can hire you.
The best contacts are the people you already know. Start by making a contact list of these people.

As you contact people, ask those people for names and contact information of other people who can help you.

After you have written your list of people you know, go to membership sites to add the names of other contacts to your contact list.

Third, you find the companies where you want to work.

Make a list of companies where you would like to work. Build this list from your industry knowledge, from recommendations of people in your network, and from job listings, which you find on job boards.

Before you apply for a job on a job board, review your contact list for people you know at the company. If you do not know anyone at the company, research names of people who work at the company. Your application is more effective if a person recommends you for a job. Try to get a direct referral from a person at the company. Many companies pay employees for referrals. Direct referrals will give you more credibility than applications you make online.

Continue to contact as many people each day as you can. Put the numbers in your favor. Remember that your contacts are like retail shoppers to a retail store. The more contacts you make will increase your chances of getting a job.

4 Winning Steps to Emotional Intelligence

I can listen without bias.

When I fail to listen for any reason, I frustrate people. I fail to understand people. I limit the information I have when making a decision. When I bring my bias to a conversation, it is harder for me to hear what people are saying. I can listen without bias and withhold judgement until the person has had a chance to speak.

I can get the food and the sleep I need.

When I am hungry or tired, I think less clearly. I take things more personally. I become impatient. I react emotionally and not mentally. I lose perspective. Important things get lost in the clutter of emotions that high jack my thinking.

I can step back and take a break.

When people say things that anger me, my instinct is to pounce on what they are saying. Communication breaks down. Understanding disappears. I can handle the discussion better by stepping back and taking a break. I can start by simply asking, “May I get back to you on this?” The separation from the person allows me to separate the personality from the issue. I think more clearly and develop an effective way to continue the conversation. I can decide whether I need to discuss the issue at all.

I can focus.

I can allow myself to see the big picture. I can make better decisions. Using my that I do not on my emotions.