Toxic personalities create stress that spreads throughout an organization.  What are the skills that you can develop to survive and even change toxic people?

Know What You Can Control

If you have the authority to act on the people with toxic personalities, it is your responsibility to change the behavior of these people or remove them from the workplace.

If you do not have authority over these people, there are steps you can take to steel yourself and even change their behavior.

Additionally, if you can in no way change the conditions of working with toxic personalities, you might consider changing jobs. Dealing with the daily stress of working with difficult people is painful in ways that can affect your mental and physical health.

Anger

Acting out of anger can just make the problem worse. The person with the toxic personality can become offended and defensive. They see you (your actions or personality) as the problem in the relationship.

On the other hand, you must prepare to be firm. I have dealt successfully with toxic behavior by confronting a person with the facts and consequences of their actions. However, changing a person’s personality is difficult. The process takes more than showing the facts of their behavior. Personality change, especially with toxic personalities, takes a commitment from the person with the problem

Skills for Surviving or Even Growing around Toxic Personalities.

Toxic people: When you can’t fight them, don’t join them.  However, make yourself healthier.

When I can’t change the behavior of toxic people or avoid these people altogether, I focus on the changes I can make in myself to become a healthier person.

Here are some things that work for me.

1. I write about my feelings.

When I write about my feelings, I cut the sting of painful emotions.

In writing about my emotions, I name my feelings.  Fear, anger anxiety, insecurity, and resentment are common feelings that people have around toxic people. You may have other bad feelings. When I experience these feelings, I write about them.

2. I write about my actions.

In this step, I can see what things I can change in my own behavior to reduce the damage in a toxic relationship.  For example, if I act out of anger, I can change my actions.

3. I discuss what I am feeling with a mentor.

One of the problems with writing about my feelings is that I have trouble seeing solutions.  Instead I focus on how people have harmed me.

However, I have close friends I can trust.  These people keep what I tell them a secret.  These friends are mentors who show me how I can grow and improve my behavior.

4. Avoid the Poison: When I can’t change the behavior of toxic people, I avoid them. If there is no reason to have to deal with them, I don’t.