Some people make friends easily. These people have the skills to make people comfortable. They know how to help people bond with them. These people have a lot of friends. They know how to make people feel accepted.
People who have a lot of friends know that what people think comes from personal beliefs. They know that people feel more comfortable, safer, when they are around people who have the same beliefs. They also know that people who have different beliefs are not always right or wrong. People who have different beliefs may simply have different beliefs.
People enjoy other people who reinforce their beliefs. They make each other comfortable. They are members. They are believers. They are fans. They congregate. People follow a political party, attend a church, support a particular sport or support a specific sports team so they can connect with like-minded people. These people are doing things that reinforce their beliefs.
If you are in an office where people are in constant conflict with other people who have different beliefs, you can learn from your own feelings. Talking about some subjects at work is not a good idea. See the people creating conflict as people who are lost and looking for company. Spend time in a different group than the one with people in conflict.
Success is not so much about what you believe as what you do. That statement even applies to deeply religious people, whatever their faith. They may have blind faith. Some people may question the faith of the faithful. Yet the deeply faithful develop their faith through faith-based practice and work.
To quote the bodybuilder Ronnie Coleman, “Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to no lift heavy weights.”
So build faith in your success and do success-building things.
Avoid pointless disagreements. When you sense that you are in a sensitive space in a discussion, just let the conversation run dry. Do not ask questions. Do not comment. Just let people talk and listen to what they need to say. Often people voicing their opinions just need to release their tensions.
If the conversation does not run dry, just excuse yourself and step away. Eventually most people will get the idea.
Focus on the job. Join successful people who want to discuss the job. Hang out with the winners in the workplace. Become a fan of your work, the work of your coworkers, and the work of your boss. Become a believer of your success. Read and do things that expand your skills and make you a better worker. Do things that give you faith in your ability. Talk about the job. Draw people to you with positive comments about your work and about their work.
Most of all, remember that when making friends at work, it’s still about the job.
