Perspective: How is it that some people live balanced lives while other people damage themselves and their relationship through a loss of perspective?

When perspective is not automatic, the happiest people create perspective. ~ www.jaywren.com

Perspective: How to Refocus, Realign, and Create Happiness

These three steps help me keep perspective. They may help you.

Refocus.

When we focus on any thought, that thought becomes the largest idea in our head. When we focus on things that people have said that angers us, we lose perspective on the value of what people say.

To get perspective, we must step away and try to understand what the person is saying.  Just because we are angry doesn’t mean that we don’t need to hear the other person out.

To get enough space to understand the point of the other person, we may need to take time and get advice on how to handle the question.

Gaining perspective is not always automatic.

Realign

Often our thinking is out of line with things that are best for us.  For example, when we hang on to damaging habits, our thinking is out of line and our reasoning can’t reach us.

At one time, I was a three-pack of day smoker.  I grew up in a culture where everyone smoked.  Smoking just made sense of as a way a of life.  It was sort of rite of passage into adulthood.

My thinking was so out of line that I could not even reason that the warning labels on cigarettes applied to my health.  For me, cigarettes were an addiction.  Like other addictions, nicotine addiction creates a denial of reality.

I couldn’t align my thinking to reality until I came down with bronchitis three times over a few months.  I finally said to myself that smoking was not for me.  I knew people who might, on occasion, have a cigar after dinner.  However, I was smoking myself to death.

It took a bit of work, but I built up a system of defense and support that enabled me to quit smoking decades ago.

Create Happiness.

I learned how to create a happiness perspective.  I found that I could not just stop being angry.  I had to do things to things instead of being angry.  I had to take a deep breath.  Second, I had to learn to listen.  Third, I had to learn to step away until my anger passed.

Perspective: How to Refocus, Realign, and Create Happiness

In closing, I still have trouble remembering that happiness comes from the inside.  Even when I have wonderful things happen to me, my attention can turn to the things in my life that I don’t like.

Furthermore, I am still at risk of not aligning my thinking to the realities of my life.

Therefore, I must continue to grow and work on creating perspective.