Confidence:  From time to time, everyone feels insecure.  Our feelings turn inward. Here are five tips for turning insecurity into poise and confidence.

Confidence: Only You Can Deny Yourself Permission to Feel Comfortable in a Crowd. ~ www.jaywren.com

Confidence: How to Feel Comfortable in a Crowd

I have a fair amount of confidence in a crowd.  I meet people easily.  However, sometimes I feel uncertain about how to start a conversation with people I don’t know.

I have become aware of these insecurities when I am walking the floor at trade shows.

You may have similar experiences in your own life.

First, relax.

Isn’t the inability to relax the source of insecurities of all types.

I find that taking a couple of deep breath helps me relax before meeting people.  Other times, I pause before entering a room and think of things I would like to discuss.

Before a meeting, I may use caffeine in one of two ways.  Caffeine can create a case of the jitters.  On the other hand, caffeine can boost your energy and lift your spirits.

When I am hungry and my blood sugar is low, I avoid caffeine before a meeting.  Instead, I eat a lite snack.

However, if my energy is low, a little caffeine boosts my energy and makes me feel more confident.

Second, say the name of the people you meet.

People love to hear their own name–myself included.

When I introduce myself, I must focus to hear another person’s name when they introduce themselves.  The only name I am sure that I will hear is my own name.  However, the best way to hear another person’s name is to repeat it back to them.  Saying another’s person name stimulates an awareness that you are listening to them.

Also, before seeing people I have not seen for a while, I go over the names of the people I will meet. My wife is especially helpful when I am seeing members of her extended family or families of her friends.

Third, ask questions.

You can find countless lists of small-talk questions on the Internet.

However, the questions that I find most helpful are the ones about a person’s interests or their families.

On the other hand, the questions I avoid are about stressful subjects like politics or work.

Fourth, smile and nod.

This simple gesture encourages other people to speak when you are at a loss for words. Furthermore, it is difficult to focus on your insecurities when you are smiling and nodding approval.

Fifth, speak with your eyes.

Look at people’s face when they speak.  Of course, look at their eyes. But also, let your eyes look at their nose and their mouth when they are speaking. Staring into people’s eyes can make them feel insecure.

Allow your eyes to express your feelings and to show that you are listening.