Category: Success

Tell Your Brain Good Things About Yourself and Your Life

Our brains filter information in a way that confirms our beliefs, whether those beliefs are positive or negative. By consciously shifting our mindset to focus on positive outcomes, we can start to see more of the good things happening around us.  ~ Jay Wren

Reading, hearing, or seeing things that confirm our beliefs makes us comfortable. So, if we keep thinking, “my life is terrible,” our brain will focus on experiences that reinforce that our lives are terrible.” But if we start telling ourselves that our lives are rewarding and healthy, our brain will start to notice the good things, reinforcing that positive belief. 

It’s like training your brain to be your own cheerleader. This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or setbacks, but rather balancing them with the positives. Over time, this can lead to a more optimistic outlook and a greater sense of well-being.

Have you tried any specific techniques to help shift your mindset? Practices like gratitude journaling or positive affirmations can be really effective.

Photo by Vladislava Malynina on Unsplash

Blessings

It is your responsibility to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself before they become fixed in your mind as beliefs. Smile. Say something nice about yourself. Make a list of your blessings.

Smile

There are many things that you can do to calm your jitters.  Perhaps the most overlooked way is simply to smile.  People smile when they are happy.  And equally important is that smiling can help you feel happy.  “Fake ’till you make it” is an ambiguous term.  Some people see it as a disingenuous way of faking your skills.  Another view is that faking confidence can help you gain confidence. A smile triggers thoughts that generate happiness.
The smiley face emoji says to other people you approve of what they have to say.  Smiling has a similar effect.  It tells people you approve of them.  It creates trust and helps people open up to you.

You are generating charisma.  People find your presence attractive.  Your smiling helps people feel more confident and comfortable being around you.  In turn, they smile and you feel confident from their signal of approval.

A frown will chase away friends.  Ah, but there is something about a smile that attracts people and draws people to you.

So, let it go.  When you see people, start with a smile.  As people approach, nod and smile.  When you are shaking hands with people, look at them and smile.

Social Anxiety: Is It Killing Your Career?

“Don’t let the world change your smile.  Let your smile change the world.”  A Work in Progress by Connor Franta

Social anxiety is common.  People who are shy are not the only people who experience social anxiety.  People who are confident about what they say or do around friends and family may feel social anxiety when they are among strangers or in front of an audience.

Social anxiety can make you avoid opportunities for work, fun, and networking.  It can cut your opportunities for leadership roles.  Your anxiety can generate signals that make it harder for people to reach out to you.

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10 Ways Winners Become Winners

All those things I learned as a child about healthy living are by coincidence the same things that adults do to become winners. ~ Jay Wren

10 Ways Winners Become Winners

There are countless ways to become a winner. Here are ten things I see winners doing that help me.

Winners own their mistakes.

They correct them. They move forward. They don’t let life’s little mistakes lie around and create problems and stress.

Winners don’t apologize all the time.

People who are apologizing all the time aren’t correcting mistakes. They are just trying to deal with the stress of insecurities without understanding why they feel insecure.

Winners talk to friends.

Just having friends helps us beat stress.  Talking to friends gets us out of my own head and into the present moment. Talking to friends helps me get my bearings. Talking to friends can also help me deal with the stress of insecurities that can cause me to apologize all the time.

Winners do it now.

Of course, we feel stressed when we keep putting off what we need to do. I win when I do the things I need to do.

Winners write it down.

When something is bothering me, I can write it down. Writing takes the sting out of stress. If I have something that I need to do but can’t do now, I can write it down. Having a list creates a plan of action. Having the plan helps me become more productive. When I become more productive, I have a sense of accomplishment. I feel less stress.

Winners eat healthy stuff first.

We must eat. Sometimes our cravings are going to make us eat junk. Winners don’t worry about it. But they eat the healthy stuff first.

Winners take breaks!

No one can run wind sprints all day long. Winners take breaks. Breaks make us more productive. People who work in virtual offices can easily forget to take breaks. I stand up. I walk away from my desk and walk around for five minutes. I lie down for a couple of minutes. I take breaks by getting away from my work. Not taking breaks creates fatigue, which screws up our perspective and stresses us out.

Winners get plenty of sleep.

Lack of sleep causes depression and anxiety. Lack of sleep creates stress. I get plenty of sleep and live with a clear, rested mind.

Winners get real!

It is so easy to believe that we have some kind of control over national or international event way beyond our control. Get real. We can’t police the universe! Being the police officer of the universe is completely fruitless and painfully stressful.

Winners get help!

Asking for help does remarkable things. Winners gain the advantage of getting help with their success. With one person rowing, you can power a small boat or a canoe. With dozens of people rowing, you can move a large ship.

Photo by Codioful (Formerly Gradienta) on Unsplash

 

Five Steps for Reducing Stress and Increasing Happiness

Six steps to reducing stress and increasing happiness.

Live in the Present Moment.

Living in the present moment means being fully aware of what is happening right now, without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. It is a state of mind that can bring many benefits, such as:

  • Reducing stress and anxiety
  • Enhancing happiness and gratitude
  • Improving focus and creativity
  • Strengthening relationships and empathy

Breathe deeply and consciously.

Breathing is the most basic and essential function of life, yet we often take it for granted. By paying attention to your breath, you can anchor yourself to the present moment and calm your mind. Try to breathe deeply and slowly, filling your lungs with air and exhaling fully. Notice how your chest and abdomen rise and fall, and how your body feels with each breath. You can also use a simple mantra, such as “I am here, I am now”, to focus your attention.

Observe your surroundings.

Another way to live in the present moment is to observe your surroundings with curiosity and openness. Use your senses to notice the details of your environment, such as the colors, shapes, sounds, smells, and textures. You can also try to find something new or interesting in familiar places, such as a flower, a painting, or a sign. By doing this, you can appreciate the beauty and diversity of life, and avoid getting stuck in your thoughts.

Do one thing at a time.

In today’s busy and multitasking world, it is easy to get distracted and lose focus. However, doing too many things at once can make you feel overwhelmed and stressed, and reduce the quality of your work and experience. To live in the present moment, try to do one thing at a time, and give it your full attention and energy. Whether it is reading a book, cooking a meal, or having a conversation, immerse yourself in the activity and enjoy the process.

Express gratitude.

You can express gratitude by writing a journal, saying thank you to someone, or simply reflecting on what you are grateful for. By doing this, you can boost your happiness and well-being, and foster a positive outlook on life.

What are Dangers of Discussing Politics with Friends, Family, and Business Contacts?

One Simple Political Comment can Destroy Years of Trust. ~ Jay Wren

There are a number of dangers to discussing politics with friends, family, and business contacts.

Dangers of discussing politics with friends:

  • Strained relationships: Political discussions can quickly become heated and emotional, especially if friends have strong opposing views. This can lead to arguments, resentment, and even the end of friendships.
  • Echo chambers: Friends tend to share similar views, so discussing politics with them can reinforce your own beliefs and make it more difficult to see the other side’s perspective. This can lead to polarization and make it harder to have productive conversations with people who have different views.
  • Loss of trust: If you share confidential information about your political beliefs with friends, they could potentially betray your trust and use that information against you. This is especially true if your friends have different political views.

Dangers of discussing politics with family:

  • Family feuds: Political disagreements can tear families apart, especially if they are long-standing and deep-seated. This is especially true if family members are forced to spend time together, such as during holidays and vacations.
  • Hurt feelings: Family members often care deeply about each other, so political disagreements can be especially painful. This can lead to resentment, anger, and even estrangement.
  • Uncomfortable situations: If you have family members with different political views, it can be difficult to avoid political discussions altogether. This can lead to uncomfortable situations, such as at family gatherings or on social media.

Dangers of discussing politics with business contacts:

  • Damage to professional relationships: If you have political disagreements with business contacts, it can damage your professional relationships. This is especially true if your work is closely tied to your political beliefs.
  • Loss of opportunities: If your business contacts know that you have different political views, they may be less likely to do business with you. This is especially true if you are in a competitive field.
  • Create a hostile work environment: If you discuss politics at work, it can create a hostile work environment for employees with different political views. This can lead to decreased productivity and morale.

How to mitigate the dangers:

If you do choose to discuss politics with friends, family, and business contacts, there are a few things you can do to mitigate the dangers:

  • Be respectful: Even if you disagree with someone’s political views, it is important to be respectful of their right to have those views. Avoid personal attacks and name-calling.
  • Be willing to listen: It is important to be willing to listen to the other side’s perspective, even if you don’t agree with it. This shows that you are open-minded and respectful.
  • Agree to disagree: It is okay to disagree with someone about politics. You don’t have to try to change their mind. If the discussion becomes too heated, it is best to agree to disagree and move on.
  • Be mindful of your audience: It is important to be mindful of your audience when discussing politics. If you are with people who have different political views, it is best to avoid sensitive topics.

In general, it is best to avoid discussing politics with friends, family, and business contacts unless you are sure that they share your views. If you do choose to discuss politics, be respectful, be willing to listen, and agree to disagree.

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