Category Archives: Quotes

Great People

People: 18 Point Check-Off List for Making Great Hires

Leadership, Quotes

People: What are the steps for building teams? How do you know which person is best for the work you need done?

If a company has great people at all levels, great goods and services will follow. ~ www.jaywren.com

The Challenging Work of Selecting Great People

As a recruiter who worked with wonderful human resources people and hiring managers, I know the challenges people face in making great hires.  Over the years, I built a check-off list of traits I considered when making referrals.  Using this list, I increased my placement to referral rate.  Furthermore, I increased the long-term success of the people my clients hired.

Here is that check-off list that you as an HR or hiring manager may want to use.  If you believe that anyone in your company will find this list helpful, please share it with them.

1. Intelligence

I believe in hiring smart people at all levels.

As a junior Navy officer, I had a petty officer working for me who had an MBA.   He edited the ship’s newspaper on the carrier USS Midway.  Although he was intelligent to do my job, he didn’t want to pressure of a Navy officer.

Every secretary I hired had the intelligence to do my job.  These people just didn’t want a job with the responsibilities I had.

However, their intelligence gave them the ability to make decisions and recommendations.  I was fortunate to have these bright people work for me.

2. Professional Skills

There is very little exception to making great hires without fundamental skill sets. If you are hiring a coder, the person must know how to code.

If someone already has the skills to use the applications and processes that your company uses, the person will become effectively more quickly. Furthermore, this person will save your company money from lost time in training a new hire.

3. Soft Skills

I have three articles on this subject. If you are not familiar with soft skills, these articles might be helpful.

15 Leadership Soft Skills that Create Greatness

The Top 6 Soft Skills

Job Searching: Hard Skills and Soft Skills

4. The Ability to Grow

Ideally, you are hiring someone who can grow into a bigger role and expand into dissimilar roles within your company. The ability of employees to grow helps a company make long-term hires.

5. Current Compensation

Hiring someone who is at a pay grade lower than you are paying will allow you to reduce costs. Furthermore, you will be able to give the person raises for a longer time without having to promote the person into a higher pay grade.

6. Cultural Skills

A person who has cultural skills is someone who can work with people across diverse cultures.

As companies grow, the challenge in dealing with diversity becomes greater.

For great long-term hires, human resources managers and hiring managers must hire people who can adapt to changes within the company. Often those changes involve cultural diversity in the workplace.

7. Team Skills

People who have team skills, know their own role as a team member.  Furthermore, they can support other team members when needed.

If you look closely at a baseball game, you will see that players work in pairs.  The pitcher knows when to race behind home plate to back up the catcher.  The right fielder knows when to move behind first base to back up the first baseman.

If you have ever watched a base runner caught between two bases, you will see players from several positions form a team to trap the runner.

Each player knows what to do in their primary role and their back up role.

8. Mental Stability

Hire people who can make sound decisions in their work and in their personal lives for the long-term.

In an interview process, you are looking for examples over the course of years of how your prospect has made solid decisions in a variety of rolls.

9. Commitment

People who have commitment can make things work in challenging times.

Jobs are not always fun.  Sometimes, they are stressful, challenging, and demanding.  Every job brings its own set of problems.

However, people who start with a commitment will find ways to adjust and still be healthy when riding out difficulties.

10. Flexibility

Some people are naturally flexible. The boss tells them they are working late on Friday.  They think nothing about working late on Friday.

However, in the alpha society of the competitive organizations, strong leaders make decisions based on what they believe is in the best interest of the company.  Their flexibility stops where the interest of the company begins.

11. Motivation

Motivation generates the energy to create a positive mind set in even the toughest times.  When the job is easy and exciting, motivation is easy and exciting.  However, when challenging times come along, the best people find the motivation to rekindle their own spirit and encourage other people.

12. Resilience

The resilience issue centers around situations in which the prospect had stumbled and bounced back.  Ask the prospect about tough times and how they worked through them.

13. Reliability

This trait appears easy to check when doing references.  However, the evidence of reliability is readily available in the prospect’s resume.  Has the person worked for a company for ten years and had progressive responsibility? The logical conclusion is that the prospect is reliable.  On the other hand, if the prospect has ten years of moving laterally through several companies, you should see a red flag on the person’s reliability.

14. Integrity

Once, in the evening after my secretary had left the office, I went to her desk drawer to find a pen.  This drawer was also where she kept the stamps.

When I opened the drawer, I saw a note that read, “I owe Jay 2 stamps.”

The note reinforced what I knew every day.  My employee had solid integrity.

15. Punctual

Before making a job offer, you must know without a doubt that the prospect is punctual.  Nothing damages morale more than having to deal with people who are always late.

16. Presentable

Defining presentable is part of creating a company culture.  The players on Wall Street dress differently than the leaders in Silicon Valley.

There are no universal standards.  The people you hire must be able and committed to adapting to the standards of your company.

17. Work Ethic

People who love to work, make a manager’s job much easier.  It is easier for a manager to turn off the lights and tell an employee to go home than having to plead for a worker to stay late.  Make it easy on yourself. Hire people with a magnificent work ethic.

18. Love of the Job

Hiring people who will love their work is one of the wisest decisions in the hiring process.  There is no greater motivator than passion.  People who love their job can make up for shortcomings in some of the other areas.  These people intuitively focus on doing their work to the best of their ability.

Winning Behavior

Winning Behavior: 8 Bad Habits to Break

Leadership, Quotes, Success

inning Behavior: The things we don’t do are as important as the things we do to be a winner in the workplace. Here are eight things to avoid as you work to build a successful career and become a leader among your peers.

Sometimes it’s the things that you don’t do that count the most. ~ www.jaywren.com

The Pitfalls to Winning Behavior

Some of the pitfalls to winning behavior are habits that seem normal, but annoy others and detract from our accomplishments.  I have been guilty of some of the things I am going to discuss.  Seeing the harm of these habits has helped me become more engaged with other people and more mindful of their needs and interests.

In ways that I can’t measure, avoiding these behaviors has help me build relationships and increase my network.

1. Using Long, Uncommon Words

Building your vocabulary is a good practice. However, using big words to try to sound intelligent and impress people is phony and annoying.  Furthermore, using long or uncommon words confuses people and detracts from your point.

It is narcissistic to throw around words that few people know or that people know as pretentious. You become like a person who poses in front of the mirror in a public restroom.

As a lesson about my own use of words that meant little but I used to impress others, my Mother once said to me, “You are so bombastic and I am so illiterate that you will have to elucidate for me to comprehend.” Lesson delivered, lesson learned.

2. Using Facilities and Parking for the Handicapped

People who need handicapped facilities have no choice.  They need them when they need them.

Abusing the use of handicapped parking is not only annoying, it is illegal.  Most states have stiff fines for using handicapped parking without legal authorization.  Furthermore, most people have no tolerance for people who abuse the use of handicapped parking.

Restroom facilities become more challenging, because some locations only have one or two stalls.  I have been in a one-stall restroom when a person in a wheelchair was waiting in line. The situation was awkward even though I had no choice. The best practice is, whenever possible, to defer to people who might need the handicapped facility.

3. Yacking on Your Cell Phone

There is something odd about strangers carrying on a conversation on a cell phone when they are next to you.

They have entered your space and are holding a conversation that doesn’t involve you.

I have been guilty of using a cell phone in a supermarket.  As my wife gave me instructions on the things she wanted me to buy, I passed one shopper three times.  The third time he suggested that I stop walking around talking on my phone and make a list.

This was an awakening to me just how easily cell conversations annoy the people around us.

Around the office, it is good to be aware when you are carrying on cell phone conversations around people who aren’t involved in the discussion.

4. Winning Behavior in Meetings

Texting and sending emails on a phone at the wrong time can be just as annoying.

At work, you can quickly annoy people, including people you need to impress.  Look at the situation.  You are in a meeting, and everyone is discussing the topic of the meeting.  Your mind wanders from the discussion, and you suddenly feel the urge to send a message or read your email.

You mind tells you that you must deal with your priorities. However, you are creating a distraction for everyone in the room.  People who are in a meeting are mentally like members in a marching band.  They are in coordination. When you start texting or sending emails, you break step and become a distraction.

5. Blocking the Exits

Blocking the exits or any other passageway is annoying.  Some people do not know how to navigate blocked hallways or aisles.  Other people feel awkward asking to get past.

People often gather at the entrance to meetings or at the door when leaving.  If this is a problem in your office, I recommend that the senior person in the room ask people not to block the door when they are leaving.

On the other hand, if you do need to get past people in a blocked passageway, simply say, “Pardon me.

6. Constant Complaining

Negative information creates bad moods.  A constant flow of negative information destroys morale and increases turnover.

Everyone has problems.  Solving those problems makes you look like a leader.  Whining about those problems not only is annoying.  It soon makes you look incompetent.

Instead of complaining, especially constant complaining, focus on solutions.

7. Self-Reference

Receiving credit for your work is a crucial step in the path to success.  However, constantly talking about yourself is annoying and makes people see you as shallow.

If you are not receiving credit for the work you are doing. talk with your managers.  Having them reference your accomplishments is far more effective than when you are doing it.  Furthermore, avoiding this behavior has helped me build a strong network.

Additionally, give credit to other people for their accomplishments.  People not only enjoy receiving credit.  They often remember the people who helped them receive credit.  This type of winning behavior will help you build a powerful network.

8. Trying to Be Funny

I remember an article that helped me know that not everyone understands the impact of their failed attempts at humor.  The author started his article with religious jokes.  These jokes were off topic.

The jokes weren’t clever.  They were flippant.  Furthermore, they distracted from the point of the article.

The author was undermining his own work, by not practicing winning behavior.

Luck Needs Action

Luck Needs Action. We Have to Play to Win.

Quotes

Luck comes to those who act.  Fate decides who wins.  But acting often and acting smarter increases our odds of turning fate in our favor.

Luck needs action. We must play to win. In the Lottery, buying a ticket comes before success.
~ www.jaywren.com

Good Luck

I have had good luck and bad luck.  But without work, I could not have had the luck to do so many things I enjoy.

My luck in college increased greatly when I realized I didn’t have to be the smartest student.  At least for me to be lucky in school, I had to be the hardest working student.

I was lucky to get into Naval Officer Candidate School. However, if I had not worked hard in college, I would not have  had the opportunity to become a bridge officer on the carrier, USS Midway.

As a business owner, I had success and frustration.  I learned early on that I could not control the results.  Results are about fate.  However, by making the phone calls, working the extra hours, changing with the changes in technology, I had enough luck to run a successful business for thirty years.

You Can’t Control the Results

At least, I can’t imagine how anyone can control the results of their work.  The results are fate.  We work hard.  We do the correct things.  But the world changes.  Technology, industrial dynamics, economics, and other things change.   Furthermore, it is the things that we can’t control that decides our fate.

Poker is a game of betting on the cards you have and the cards you hope to have.

Poker players know as well as anyone how fate controls the outcome of a hand.  Holding aces never guarantees a win.  But playing the hand, and playing it smartly, increases our odds of winning.

Not only in poker, but in everything I do, I play to win.  I know that taking the right action increases my chances of prosperity. Also, acting helps me build stronger family ties, gives me greater friendships, and rewards with me better health.

Career Burnout 3

Career Burnout: When Working Less Becomes a Priority

Health and Fitness, Job Skills, Quotes

Career Burnout: In a culture where people believe that working hard can overcome any obstacle, reality teaches us that we have limitations. We burnout. ~ www.jaywren.com

I am a few days late writing this article on purpose.  For the past two weeks I have had trouble writing.  During that time, I sensed that I needed a break.  Career burnout is not new to me.  I have learned from my experience that relentlessly pushing through obstacles leads to not being able to work at all.

Now that I feel better, I want to talk about the trouble that career burnout has caused me.

When Relentless Effort Becomes Destructive

The term “burnout” in reference to job performance comes from an article “Staff Burn-Out” by Herbert J. Freudenberger, first published in January 1974  in the Journal of Social Issues.
In 1980, Herbert Freudenberger collaborated with Richelson Géraldine to write the book Burnout: The High Cost of High Achievement.

My Experience with Career Burnout

I am a high achiever who believed for years that I could work past any obstacle.

Whatever the job requirements, I would exceed them.  I believed that exceeding requirements would always create greater success. When my results did not match my expectations, I worked harder.

Pushing myself this way has led to periods in my life when I just could not work.

For me, recognizing the difference between a challenging period in my career and real burnout are hard to see. Here are symptoms I respond to before burning out.

  • Depression
  • Physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion
  • Inability to engage mentally in my work
  • Apathy
  • Fear, anger, and uncertainty
  • Despair of achieving my goals
  • Inability to be present for my work or my family
  • Inability to accept that my relentless pursuit of success was self-defeating

8 Steps I Take to Prevent Burnout

Here are 8 simple steps I take to prevent going over the edge into career burnout.

  1. Taking breaks.
  2. Finding emotional support through friendships and family.
  3. Trying new things: new routine, new skills, new tools
  4. Making a list of my work priorities.
  5. Doing one thing at a time.
  6. Getting regular physical exercise.
  7. Using techniques for resting my mind from work: meditation, short breaks, meeting or calling friends to relieve stress.
  8. Watching or listening to things that are relaxing, motivational, or inspirational

I continually work on balance in work, entertainment, exercise, family, and quiet time.  Experience has taught me that balance more than relentless effort leads to long-term success.

Job Counter Offers

Job Counter Offers: The Stress of Leaving a Company

Job Offers, Job Search, Quotes

Job counter offers are ways companies avoid the annoyances of losing employees at the wrong time.
~ www.jaywren.com

Should you stay or should you go?

Job counter offers are risky.

If you stay, the reasons you resigned seldom go away.  In addition, when you met with your boss to turn in your resignation, you showed your boss that you have been disloyal by interviewing with another company.

As for the value of a counter offer, be aware that companies prefer to lose people based on the company’s timing.  The reasons are easy to understand.  Your company is in the middle of a work project that could fail if people leave.   You are one of those people.  You find yourself in a counter offer that has more to do with completing the project than your value to the company.

So, what happens during a counter offer?

You go through a standard process to keep people aboard until the company can throw them overboard.

  • Your boss asks you the reasons that you are leaving.
  • Then your boss shows understanding about your frustrations.
  • Your boss promises to make changes to keep you on the job.
  • You may receive a pay raise or a promise of a pay raise.  Remember that you forced the pay raise by trying to resign.
  • Your boss may even may promises to improve things as time goes on.
  • Your boss gets the details of your job offer and shows you the flaws in going to the new company.
  • You feel pressure from the counter offer process.  You become indecisive.  Even if your company does not offer you a pay raise or change any of the conditions that have made you unhappy, the company pressures you to stay.
  • You begin to waver in your decision.

The Stress of Job Counter Offers

If you are feeling the stress of a job counter offer, you are not alone.

As a recruiter, I have had applicants go through so much stress that they have cried.  I had one manager who was going through a counter offer that was so stressful he called me at 2:00 AM.  He was in tears.  He was still in tears later that day when he called me to say that he had accepted his company’s counter offer.

The company convinced him to stay.

Seven month later, he was out again interviewing with another company.  Nothing changed after he accepted the counter offer.  He still hated where he worked.  He needed to get another job.

Unfortunately, another employee saw him interviewing at the airport.   The job searcher turned in a daily report that showed that he was making sales calls.  The report was false.  His boss knew that the report was false.   At this point, his current employer no longer needed him.  The same boss who had talked him into staying seven months before fired him.

He was unemployed without a job offer in hand.

How to Reduce the Pressure of Job Counter Offers

You can reduce the pressure.

When you resign, make the discussion short and to the point.  Just be polite.  Say that you are leaving.  Don’t share any information about your future employer or the amount of the offer.

When you think you are reasoning with your employer by sharing information about your new job, you are just engaging in a discussion that will increase the pressure.

Just give your resignation and listen but don’t speak.

Passionate Life

Passionate Living: Turning Resolutions into a Lifestyle

Health and Fitness, Quotes

Passionate Living:  Common sense tells us to sleep, exercise, and eat correctly.  How do we find the passion for a healthy life?

Are You Struggling?

If you are struggling, you are not alone. Tens of millions of Americans do not get enough sleep, do not exercise regularly, and eat processed food that makes them overweight.

Common Sense is not Enough.

It seems to me that most people have the common sense to know how their energy, mental clarity, and self-esteem rise with healthy habits.

However, one-third of Americans are not getting enough sleep. Two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.

Spending Money is Not the Answer.

According to various articles online, Americans spend between $40 and $60 billion each year on sleep aids, weight loss, and exercise programs.

Buying sleep aids doesn’t change our behavior.  People who stay up too late and take a sleep aid to go to sleep are more tired than people who simply go to bed on time.

Believing that a financial commitment will lead to a change of behavior, people sign a year-long contract to a gym in January.  By March, most people have stopped going regularly.  Others don’t go at all.

Additionally, other people buy expensive exercise equipment.  Much of this equipment ends up gathering dust in the corner or on Craigslist.

Passionate Living: How People Form Healthy Habits

No one has needs to tell avid golfers to get off the sofa.  They are too passionate about playing golf to care about the sofa.  Tennis, fishing, soccer, softball, basketball, running, sailing, or any exercise that stirs our passions are good choices for creating new habits.

I have switched activities from time to time. But I continue to find new physical activities that I love.

As for eating healthy foods, I have never given up cake or ice cream.  However, for 6 days of each week, I eat things that are healthiest for me instead.  I have good luck with eating a ketogenic diet.  My eating plan is 10 percent carbohydrates, 20-25 percent protein, and 65-70 percent fat. I track what I eat and track my weight.

About once a week, I purposely drift away from my eating plan to eat the most indulgent things I can find.  And, I remind myself the next day that I had planned to eat that way for one-day week.

Then I return to my keto eating plan. The indulgent day kick-starts my metabolism into high gear.  It is not just a day of pleasure.  The indulgent day is a day of necessity.  I have fun and feel passionate about the way I am eating and about the results.

Attitudes

Attitudes: How to Choose the Way We See the World

Health and Fitness, Leadership, Quotes, Success

Attitudes: How is it that some people seem to have a natural, positive attitude? Even when life gives them challenges, these people live wonderful lives.

Attitudes not only affect the way we see the world. Attitudes change the way we deal with the world. 

Understanding Moods and Attitudes

When I am in hungry, tired, or rushed, things can seem more personal.   I may feel more anxious or impatient.   My mood declines and my attitude declines with it.  I may feel angry over things that might not otherwise bother me.

It is easier for me to treat other people the way I feel.  Then I infect them with my bad attitude.  By simply taking a deep breath, having lunch, or taking a break, I can often change the way everything looks and improve the way I treat other people.

By understanding that other people experience the same decline in attitudes based on what is going on with them, I can avoid catching a bad attitude from them.  They are human.  I am human.  I can allow them the same understanding people have so often given me.

My response to other people in this light relieves me of the stress of owning their bad feelings.  I can let those actions toward me to pass.  I feel healthier when I can to see that, as humans, we share the same wiring.  I can find compassion for people who need compassion.  I can find patience with people who are being impatient.  I can stop and listen to people who are being rude without agreeing but simply letting them air out their thinking.

Conditions Affect Moods

Driving has a profound territorial impact on attitudes.  In my car, I have a sense that I am in my personal moving territory.  My mind says that the area around my car is like the yard around my house. It is my space, my yard, my safe distance between from other people and cars, my mobile territory.

If another driver moves into my mobile territory, I have a sense of violation and frustration.  My sense of mobile territory can even extend to a sense of injustice when I see a driver cut off another driver.

Among the thousands of other drivers on the highways every day, there are people who feel overwhelmed, experiencing grief, living in fear in failure, or experiencing other very difficult situations. There are other people who are simply tired and hungry and have just had a dreadful day and caught a bad attitude from someone else.

However, I can’t change their attitude.  On the other hand. I can change my attitude.  Maintaining a bad attitude is painful.   If I allow myself to stay angry or anxious, or fearful, I am trying to punish other people when I am hurting myself.  Bad attitudes are very painful.

 Furthermore, good attitudes have so many benefits.

  1. I am healthier.
  2. I feel better.
  3. I can focus.
  4. I can feel joy in the present moment.
  5. I can celebrate life as a flow of passing events.

When someone has a cold, I do not see them as being a bad person.  I see them as a person with a temporary disease.  When someone has a bad attitude, I see them as a person with a temporary attitude disorder.

When you can, avoid people with bad attitudes.

Most people avoid those types of people.  However, when that person is your boss or coworker, you may find that the best way to keep from catching negative attitudes from these people only takes some practical steps.

  1. Be very positive and upbeat around these people.
  2. If the person is your boss, try to understand what your boss wants done and try to do those things without expectation of approval.
  3. See them as people and not as evil forces.
  4. Angry, rude, difficult, even obnoxious people are just people.   When I see them as human just as I am human, I realize that they are the one in pain not me.

Surrounding Myself with Positive People

The most important thing that I can do is to stay close to positive people and read or watch positive things. I love the healing that I get from positive people, places, and things.  Today I am going to catch the good attitudes and heal the bad ones, in myself and in the people around me.

Self-Empowerment

Self-Empowerment: 5 Traits of Highly Productive People

Popular Posts, Quotes

Self-Empowerment: What are the things that successful people do for themselves to create power other people never have? Are they things that you can do?

People who empower themselves don’t see the world as the source of their problems. ~www.jaywren.com

What is Self-Empowerment and How Can We Achieve it?

Self-empowerment is taking control of your behavior to reach your goals and achieve success. This trait empowers us to do the things that we can do. Furthermore, it enables us to recognize our weaknesses and turn them into strengths.

Horrible things happen to all of us. Things beyond our control. But self-empowerment changes the questions about our predicament. We stop asking, “Why me?”  Instead, we ask, “What are my steps for today?

Hustle

The people who hustle move ahead of the competition. They are the ones who recover the fumble, catch the rebound, or bring their product to market before competitors do.

Integrity

There are many quotes about integrity. Usually these quotes look something like this:  Integrity is what you do when nobody’s watching.  However, integrity is a quality that builds success whether people are watching or not.

People without integrity lie in public, con people into choices, break their commitments. They lack loyalty, fairness, decency. No one trusts people who don’t have integrity.

On the other hand, people with integrity do none of these things. Nor do they have any of those bad qualities. Additionally, people trust people who have integrity.

Self-Honesty

There are two types of honesty. Cash register honesty is one. Certainly, cash register honesty is important for building trust and staying out of jail. However, self-honesty enables people to see their shortcomings. More importantly, self-honesty enables people to correct their mistakes and strengthen their weaknesses.

To have self-honesty, we must be open-minded and have a willingness to change.

Priorities

Anyone can make a list of things to do. However, a simple to-do list is not a list of priorities. Successful people must have the ability to know the difference between the things that they should do today from the things that must do today.

Action

Do not confuse motion with action.  A swivel chair has motion, but it is not going anywhere. People who move into action create self-empowerment to reach their goals.

Relentless

People who are relentless don’t give up on themselves or their success. Through effort and intelligence, they move past obstacles to achieve their goals. I write two to three blog posts a week. Sometimes, I don’t feel like writing. Other times, I can’t think of ideas for writing. However, I have a relentless attitude to continue to read and grow and find powerful ideas to share on my blog.

 

Breaking Habits

Breaking Habits: How to Quit by Doing Something Else

Health and Fitness, Quotes

Breaking Habits: Why is quitting unhealthy or counterproductive habits so difficult? What are the tools that everyone can use to end these habits and start healthier and more productive habits?

Quitting a bad habit is easier when we do something healthy instead. ~ www.jaywren.com

Here are some typical unhealthy or counterproductive habits: procrastination, sitting, overspending, drinking too much alcohol, tardiness, snacking, staying up too late, and so on.

Guilt is Never the Answer

Guilt is never the answer to quitting or breaking habits. You are not weak. However, unhealthy, rude habits are powerful. We succumb to our habits to find comfort from bad feelings. Guilt only makes the habits more powerful.

My Story

I am going to discuss the steps I used to stop smoking. However, these steps work in breaking habits of all types.

Smoking may not pose a health threat for everyone. People who smoke an occasional cigar or a cigarette with friends may not damage their health or their relationships.

This article is not a lecture. I can only speak for myself about how I have ended unhealthy habits.

I was a chain-smoker. Whenever I was awake, I had a cigarette in my hands or a cigarette burning in an ashtray at my fingertips. I had an addiction that created cravings when I didn’t smoke.

However, today, I haven’t smoked a cigarette for over thirty years.  Before smoking my last cigarette, I had quit smoking countless times.

I found that I had two problems.  Quitting and staying stopped.

Recognizing the Habit for What It Is

I had two experiences that told me that smoking was very dangerous for me.  First, my father, one of my uncles, and my father’s dad were smokers. All three men developed emphysema and suffered chronic bronchitis, which is common among people who suffer from emphysema.

Second, I had two colds that turned into bronchitis in as many months.

I realized that smoking was a dangerous threat to my health.

Furthermore, I had people who complained to me about how my smoking bothered them. Until I became a non-smoker, I had trouble understanding what I was doing to these people.

Breaking Habits: Admitting the Habit Exist

I reached a point where I could admit to myself that smoking would eventually kill me. Second, I admitted that smoking was selfish and threatened the health of my family and the other people who worked around me.
Furthermore, I had to admit smelling like a smoker had a negative effect on my relationships with other people. Now that I am a non-smoker, I can smell cigarette smoke fifteen feet away.

Finding Healthy Tools

Quitting was never easy. Simple, yes. Easy, no.

The last time I stopped and stayed stopped, I used tools that replaced the elements involved in smoking. I talked to people who had quit. Also, I read articles about the things other people had done to stop and stay stopped.

Furthermore, I would call friends when I craved a cigarette. Talking with them took my mind off my cravings and discomfort.

Here are things helped get through the first two weeks of discomfort.  Part of smoking is the habit of having something between our fingers. I made a chain of paper clips and kept it in my hands to keep my fingers busy. Cravings for a cigarette lasts about 90 seconds. When I became aware that I was craving a cigarette, I would go for a walk to the water fountain or around the atrium at my office.

Knowing that many people ate more when they quit smoking, I began to keep low-calorie foods nearby. For example, crunching on an apple helped me overcome the habit of putting a cigarette in my mouth.

For two weeks, I felt empty-headed. I had trouble concentrating. I understood that this sensation was common and would not last.

Lifestyle Changes

Now that I was not smoking, I felt more comfortable doing more exercise.

I joined a health club and went there each morning before work.

With my wife, I took up co-ed softball and soccer. Also, I coached a couple of adult teams. Then I coached my younger daughter’s soccer team.

Instead of trying to stay off cigarettes, I took up healthy habits that changed my life for the better.  By just giving up cigarettes and doing other things instead, my entire lifestyle changed. I was exercising regularly. My wife and I were making new friends who were active non-smokers as well.

Staying stopped was the real problem. I would go through the discomfort of quitting. Then I would start again.

But by finding healthier things to do, I have become a non-smoker who can’t understand why other people still smoke.

 

Complaints 1

Complaints: How Top Managers Manage Feedback

Leadership, Quotes

Complaints are a grievance issue, not a management feedback issue. Knowing the difference is important to becoming a strong manager.  www.jaywren.com

Why do weak managers confuse complaints with reporting a problem? How can we train managers to build teams with an effective flow of information?

The Difference

Reporting a problem is feedback that something isn’t working or conditions are deteriorating.  At the same time, complaints are feedback that something is unsatisfactory, but complaints come more in the form of a personal grievance or personal criticism.

People who report problems seek to prevent or correct problems.  Complainers seek an audience for their issues or resolution to personal problems.

Weak Managers

One trait of weak managers is that they don’t want to hear anything negative. They are too busy, too distracted, or too emotionally off-balance to deal with problems.

This management style lends itself to negative, sometimes hostile management relationships with people reporting to these weak managers.

Furthermore, these managers don’t learn about the information they need to know to manage their responsibilities.

How to Train Managers to Deal with Complaints and Problems

Strong managers create a list of conditions that they need to know.  When I was a bridge officer, my commanding officer had a list of standing orders.  These were the things that the bridge officers needed to tell the captain to keep the ship safe.

In other conditions, the commanding officer had temporary orders for a scheduled event.  For example, call the captain when the admiral arrives today.

However, complaints were never in the plan of the day.  The captain didn’t want to hear that the soup was not to your satisfaction or that someone cut you off in line at the ship’s store. He welcomed feedback.  However, he wasn’t interested in personal, negative issues.

In a business environment, managers may want the production supervisor to contact them when they first see a sign that production may start to fall behind.

Another condition might be that a manager wants to know as soon as anyone sees that a project might come in over budget.
A key part of notifying management is to tell them before it is too late to make corrections.

Have a Format for Reporting Problems

Employees need to know how to report problems.

Some managers simply want a notification when a potential problem appears. Other managers may want recommendations when a person is reporting a problem.

In every case, smart managers train employees how to present problems effectively.

Keep It Simple.

When reporting a problem, don’t jumble the report with other information. Just state the problem and, when expected, a solution to the problem.

Have Priorities for Problems

Smart managers may have conditions on when and how to present a problem.

Highest priority are the wake-me-up problems. In the middle of the night, wake me up before the roof starts leaking or before the equipment breaks down.

Wake-me-up directives typically apply to potentially catastrophic problems.

The Safe and Open Environment

Managers should show an open, receptive attitude.  As a business owner, I tried to create as free and safe an environment as possible.  My employees felt safe in knowing when they could make decisions and solve problems.  Also, they felt safe to tell me when a problem would arise.

The best managers assure that employees no one will criticize them for making a mistake in calling out a problem.  Everyone has 20/20 hindsight.