Category Archives: Leadership

Better Friends

Choosing Better Friends: Powerful Steps to a Happier, More Successful You

Choosing better friends is more than picking friends you like.  And it does not mean breaking ties with friends you cherish.

The Experience of Choosing Better Friends

As you make better friends, you will drift away from the friends who bring little value or even diminish your life.

Rather, choosing better friends is a means to develop relationships that can enrich your life personally and professionally.

Choosing Better Friends Who Make You Laugh

Friends should be a great source of joy and laughter.  These friends can help brighten your day by showing you that life is not always serious.  Additionally, these friends can bring you joy by helping you see the good in your life.

Choosing Better Friends Who Make You Think

Some friends can help you grow mentally and intellectually.  These people may hold different beliefs from your beliefs.  The reason for the difference is that these people have had different life experiences from you.  Therefore, they have developed different ways of looking at the world.  These people may make you pause and wonder about new ways to see the world.  Furthermore, you can grow from their life experiences.

Choosing Better Friends Who See Solutions

People who see solutions do not view the world as a series of problems. ~ www.jaywren.com

Negative people focus on what is wrong.  Positive people focus on what is right.  However, problem solvers focus on correcting wrongs and improving the things that are right. These people get things done.  Additionally, they can help you see ways to make your world a better place.

Choosing Better Friends Who are Knowledgeable

It is good for me to remember that in school I seldom got 100% on all my exams.  Still today, I find that my friends are able to help me check the accuracy of my thinking.

In other, practical situations, my knowledgeable friends have shown the expertise to help me manage issues for which I had no experience.

Effective Communications 3

Effective Communications: 7 Steps to Being Understood

Effective Communications are part of the job for professionals in all types of fields and responsibilities. Here are 7 ideas for communication success.

Headlines

Even when speaking, you will help people understanding you with a headline.  The headline states the topic. “Bill, let’s talk about the plan for this weekend” is a simple sentence that let’s Bill know what you are discussing.

In writing, where you put the headline depends on what you are writing. In a letter or an email, the headline goes in to the subject. In your LinkedIn profile, the headline goes next to your name.  In a resume, the headline can be a short statement below your contact information.

Clear Communication: The Opening Paragraph

For most effective communication, state the purpose of the discussion in the opening paragraph.  Note that the purpose is more than the subject.  The purpose includes the subject and the reason for discussing that subject.  For example,

“So, that we don’t overlook anything, Bill, let’s talk about the plan for this weekend.”

One Subject at a Time

Whether writing or speaking, you will have more success by sticking to one subject at a time.

Busy people tend to look for the point.  Once they find it, their mind is ready take action or to file the information.

Additionally, jumping back and forth on different subjects confuses people.

New Subject Introduction

Sometimes, you need to discuss several subjects in one meeting or correspondence.  When you do, you can help the other person follow your discussion with transitional tools.

In a conversation, you can state that you are moving on to a new subject.

When writing, use subheadings, all caps, bold type, or initial caps at the beginning of each subject.  The switch from normal style to one of these four styles highlights that you are moving on to a new topic or subtopic.

The reader may only have time to scan information.  Your key points stand out in the brief statements that you highlight with subheadings and initial caps.

Transitional Devices

Transitional devices are a bridge to help the reader follow you from one sentence or paragraph to the next.  Additionally, these words or phrases can help your reader know whether you are adding more information on a subject or moving on to a new one.

They are signals to smooth the flow of your message.

Here are some examples.

  1. Write a transitional statement such: “Now I would like to discuss a new subject.”
  2. Use transitional words such as “also, so, for this purpose, later, furthermore.
  3. Time categories help you reader following your message: First, Second, Third, and so forth.
  4. Additionally, bullet points or numbered lists are excellent when making short phrases are statements.

Proofreading

Grammar is as important as content. I carefully proofread what I have written and use word processing software to check for mistakes.  I still make mistakes.  If you see any mistakes in my writing, please let me know.

Vocabulary Development

I make it a habit to look up words I don’t know.  Furthermore, my curiosity prompts me to read articles about new terms.  Today, in this digital world, the flow of information gives me the opportunity to grow professionally and personally.

Here are some examples of new words or topics I have learned in the past 5 to 10 years.

  • “Disruptive” in reference to innovation
  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Mindfulness” in reference to focusing attention on the present moment; also, in reference to breathing meditation

Effective Communications: Conclusion

In conclusion, the formula for saying or writing anything is simple. Start with a headline.  Second, state the subject in the opening sentence.  If you wish to write about multiple topics, just say so clearly in the opening.

Use capital letters, subheadings, and transitional devices to introduce each new subject.

Your listeners and readers will appreciate your effort to communicate effectively.

Furthermore, you will find that people take more action and give you better responses with effective communications.

Winning

Winning: 4 Conditions that Empower and Motivate Successful Teams

Winning:  The best conditions empower, motivate, and engage teams.  Additionally, these conditions create bonds and ownership among the team members.

Four Conditions for Winning Teams.

  1. Inclusiveness
  2. Ownership
  3. Recognition
  4. Honesty

Inclusiveness

The words “we,” “our,” and “together” create feelings of membership in a group.

Additionally, calling people by their name increases bonds.

For example, picture this presentation. A team leader is recognizing a team’s efforts in front of other people in the company.

The presentation of the team leader might go like this.

“Bill and Sue are new members on our team.  Together, our team has finished ahead of schedule and below cost.  Furthermore, we have exceeded our team goals.”

Ownership

Accepting responsibility for mistakes is an important trait for members of a team. These are examples of ownership statements.

“I regret my mistake.” “I accept responsibility for the things I could have done better.” “I can and will do better.”

Recognition
Award ceremonies serve several purposes.  One is to make people feel good about their work.  A second, is to motivate people through recognition.

However, team leaders don’t need to wait for an award ceremony to give credit.  Here are words to recognize contribution.

“You did a good job.” “Thank you.” “I would not have expected less from you.”

Honesty

Nice words are not enough to empower teams.  The members need honesty.  When they make mistakes, team leaders must help them see those mistakes.

Misleading team members damages the team’s effort.

People who are defensive about their mistakes lack self-honesty.  Insecurities cripple their ability to bond with a team.  Rather than accept responsibility and correct their mistakes, these people become a burden to the team.

Here are some ideas for dealing with people who struggle with self-honesty.

Criticism of these people makes them feel more insecure.  They become more defensive.

Team leaders can help defensive people become more effective team members by teaching them that taking ownership for their mistakes builds trust.

Additionally, team leaders can teach these people that most people make mistakes.  However, denying mistakes or repeating mistakes makes these team members ineffective.

Team leaders can teach people how to own their mistakes with the words they choose.  For example, “I was wrong. I made a mistake and will try not to make it again.”

Mental Flow

Mental Flow: Present Moment Awareness Continues Through Time

Mental Flow: Living in the present moment is like riding a canoe. You have control with your paddle, but you ride effortlessly in the river’s current.
~ www.jaywren.com

In a previous article, Becoming Aware: The Power of Living in the Present Moment, I wrote,

“Doing one thing at a time and clearing my mind of everything else: these steps empower my mind to a higher level of thinking.”

To some people the phrase “the present moment” implies an instance in time. And that understanding is correct. However, the concept that I am discussing is to experience a mental awareness flowing freely and without distraction.  For example, if you are engrossed in a movie, your mind is not thinking about the theater, the people around you, or things from your past or your future. Instead, you mind flows with the movie.

Flow is critical in athletic sports or chess or poker or any competition for that matter.  The greats don’t analyze.  They just see solutions and flow through them. A baseball fielder doesn’t mentally stop and analyze how to make a catch. Through training and mental awareness, the player’s mind carries the player through the catch and into the next motion to throw the ball to the pitcher or to another player to complete a play.

When they sense a change in the circumstances around themselves, their instincts can kick in to enable them to adjust to the new situation.

During the game, in all sports the greatest coaches, don’t want their players thinking about the score, the crowd, or the players on the other team. They want their players in a mental flow of executing a play exactly the way that the coach has trained them.

Benefits of Living in a Mental Flow

When in a mental flow, you experience a higher level of thought. You become intuitive, mentally receptive.  You release the pain of ruminating over the past or worrying about the future.  From my point of view, I can’t change the past, and most of the things that I worry about never happen.

Action 1

Action: Just Being On Time is Not Enough

Action: Just Being on Time is Not Enough. Successful people use their time effectively to accomplish more. ~ www.jaywren.com

Big Projects and Time Management

When going through lengthy periods with big projects, I sometimes push aside the big project to do the things that are easy and pressing.  I let the most pressing tasks take priority over my long-term goals.

When I encounter a rush of pressing issues, I pause.  I take a few slow deep breaths.  A little pause keeps me on track for long-term goals and helps me prioritize pressing issues for the day.

Daily Goals and Productivity

When I get off schedule, my days become less productive. I wander off task.

I click around a couple of websites to stimulate my thinking for new projects.  Then, I check my phone for personal texts. I surf the web for news of current events. Even though I have been very busy, I accomplish little or nothing.

However, I have learned a more effective method to stay on track. I schedule an objective with each activity. The objective creates clarity in going through activities for the day.

Scheduling Activities with Objectives

When I went through sales training, I learned that setting an objective for each sales call increased my productivity on that call.   Step one: I scheduled a sales call. Step two: I added what I plan to accomplish. This second step may sound unnecessary. However, with an objective, I was more thorough and more productive on each call.

Additionally, scheduling an activity and a list of objectives is effective in managing personal matters.  For example, when I have a doctor’s appointment on my schedule, I add the things that I need to discuss with the doctor during my visit. With a list of things to discuss, I cover all the issues I have for the doctor.

In summary, for me, there are at least four benefits to including objectives to my list of things to do.

  1. I don’t overlook important issue.
  2. Stating objectives stimulates creativity.  I awaken my mind to more opportunities.
  3. Each day, I accomplish more.  Over the years, even the little things add up to greater long-term success.
  4. I do one thing at a time.

Status Board 

As I complete tasks, I mark them completed.  At the end of the day, I review the schedule for tasks to reschedule things I have failed to complete.

My schedule is a status board of tasks completed and tasks to act on the next day. With these things completed and rescheduled, I have the confidence of knowing that I will continue to stay on tasks the following day.

Team Success

Team Success: 5 Traits that Engage and Build Loyalty

Team Success: What traits engage and build loyalty among team members? This article covers five of the traits I have found among successful organizations.

Traits of Successful Teams

  1. Inclusiveness
  2. Ownership
  3. Recognition
  4. Honesty
  5. Communication

Inclusiveness

The words “we,” “our,” and “together” create feelings of membership in a group.

Additionally, calling people by their name increases bonds.

For example, picture this presentation. A team leader is recognizing a team’s efforts in front of other people in the company.

The presentation of the team leader might go like this.

“Bill and Sue are new members on our team.  Together, our team has finished ahead of schedule and below cost.  Furthermore, we have exceeded our team goals.”

Ownership

Accepting responsibility for mistakes is an important trait for members of a team. These are examples of ownership statements.

“I regret my mistake.” “I accept responsibility for the things I could have done better.” “I can and will do better.”

Recognition

Award ceremonies serve several purposes.  One is to make people feel good about their work.  A second, is to motivate people through recognition.

However, team leaders don’t need to wait for an award ceremony to give credit.  Here are words to recognize contribution.

“You did a good job.” “Thank you.” “I would not have expected less from you.”

Honesty

Nice words are not enough to empower teams.  The members need honesty.  When they make mistakes, team leaders must help them see those mistakes.

Misleading team members damages the team’s effort.

People who are defensive about their mistakes lack humility and perhaps self-honesty.  Insecurities cripple their ability to bond with a team.  Rather than accept responsibility and correct their mistakes, these people become a burden to the team.

Here are some ideas for dealing with people who struggle with self-honesty.

Criticism of these people makes them feel more insecure.  They become more defensive.

Team leaders can help defensive people become more effective team members by teaching them that taking ownership for their mistakes builds trust.

Additionally, team leaders can teach these people that most people make mistakes.  However, denying mistakes or repeating mistakes makes these team members ineffective.

Communication and Team Success

Team leaders use effective communication to engage team members and create clarity and focus.  Furthermore, it is important that effective communications exist throughout the organization.

Team members must know which issues to share with the team leader and with other team members.

Workplace Winners

Workplace Winners: How to Gain Respect and Create Success

Workplace Winners: How do people set the tone and take the action to become a winner in the workplace? Here are four steps I have seen that separate workplace winners from the crowd.

Workplace winners show respect for the people who respect them.  ~ www.jaywren.com

Respond Intelligently to Criticism

When someone criticizes me, I can easily criticize him or her for things that they have done.  This type of response does not lead to solutions.

The best thing I can do is to listen to the person. I can create space and time until I can understand what the person is saying.

The person may have information I need to do a better job.  Even if the person has suggestions that will not help me, I can listen and avoid tension.  I can focus on the situation at hand.

Let Other People Have Their Say

I have two ears and one mouth.  I need to learn from other people.  If I am talking all the time, I will never learn anything from anyone.

If a person has gone off the subject, I can direct them back to the point of the discussion.

Moreover, Pay Attention to What People Are Saying

When my mind is elsewhere during a conversation, people will notice that I am not paying attention.  I need to wake up and pay attention.  People respect me for the attention I give as much the attention I get.

Show concern for people who are struggling

I once became impatient with a secretary who was hesitant about helping me schedule a flight.  When I pressed her on the matter, she confessed that she had never scheduled a flight.  She had never been on an airplane.  The fact was awkward for her.  She was so bright and capable in so many ways.  I apologized for my impatience.  I explained the simple process to her.  She booked the flights.  A little bit of patience from me helped us both move on to the important things we needed to do that day.

Workplace Winners

In Conclusion, workplace winners don’t focus on what is wrong in other people. Rather, they show respect and learn from others in the workplace. As a result, these winners gain respect and build their own success.

Arriving Early

Arriving Early: How a Simple Behavior Makes Life Easy

Arriving early: How does this simple behavior make life easier for you and the people around you? What does this character trait have to do with success in your job and success in your personal life?

Get there early. You might miss something.  ~ www.jaywren.com

The Freedom from Stress of Arriving Early

When I know that I am going to arrive late, I feel stress all the way to my appointment.  When I am waiting for a person to work on a project, I feel frustrated when.

My Early Lesson

Arriving early is on time.  Arriving on time is late.

When I was sixteen, I started to work for a grocery store. On my third day on the job, I walked in the door at the time to start work.

I felt stressed.  However, I was on time in arriving at the store. Still, I felt uncertain about my situation.  Before going to my work station, I had to go upstairs to the locker area and grab an apron to wear at the cash register.

The store manager stopped me at the cash register and pulled me aside. He told me that the time to be at my work station was the time that my schedule began.  Furthermore, he said that I could never be at the cash register on time without arriving early.

Being Prepared

To start work prepared and stress free, I must arrive early to lay things out and clear my mind.

As a Navy officer, I arrived early to relieve deck officers on bridge watch. The other deck officers did the same thing. We would discuss the status of ship’s operations. Additionally, I asked for information on the plan for ship’s operations for the next hours to come.

This preparation reduced stress.  Additionally, the information I gained from arriving early reduced confusion and mistakes.  I could prepare mentally for the things that I needed to do.  My brain could process decisions that I would have to make before I had to make them.  My confidence and mental clarity increased.  In conclusion, I was far more capable of navigating the ship safely and managing the bridge team for the watch.

Communication Fail

Communication: How Effective People Speak and Write

Communication:  Effective speaking and writing are part of the job for professionals in all types of fields and responsibilities. Here are some ideas to make your business and personal communications more powerful.

Headlines

Even when speaking, you will help people understanding you with a headline.  The headline states the topic. “Bill, let’s talk about the plan for this weekend” is a simple sentence that let’s Bill know what you are discussing.

In writing, where you put the headline depends on what you are writing. In a letter or an email, the headline goes in to the subject. In your LinkedIn profile, the headline goes next to your name.  In a resume, the headline can be a short statement below your contact information.

Clear Communication: The Opening Paragraph

For most effective communication, state the purpose of the discussion in the opening paragraph.  Note that the purpose is more than the subject.  The purpose includes the subject and the reason for discussing that subject.  For example,

“So, that we don’t overlook anything, Bill, let’s talk about the plan for this weekend.”

One Subject at a Time

Whether writing or speaking, you will have more success by sticking to one subject at a time.

Busy people tend to look for the point.  Once they find it, their mind is ready take action or to file the information.

Additionally, jumping back and forth on different subjects confuses people.

New Subject Introduction

Sometimes, you need to discuss several subjects in one meeting or correspondence.  When you do, you can help the other person follow your discussion with transitional tools.

In a conversation, you can state that you are moving on to a new subject.

When writing, use subheadings, all caps, bold type, or initial caps at the beginning of each subject.  The switch from normal style to one of these four styles highlights that you are moving on to a new topic or subtopic.

The reader may only have time to scan information.  Your key points stand out in the brief statements that you highlight with subheadings and initial caps.

Transitional Devices

Transitional devices are a bridge to help the reader follow you from one sentence or paragraph to the next.  Additionally, these words or phrases can help your reader know whether you are adding more information on a subject or moving on to a new one.

They are signals to smooth the flow of your message.
Here are some examples.

  1. Write a transitional statement such: “Now I would like to discuss a new subject.”
  2. Use transitional words such as “also, so, for this purpose, later, furthermore.
  3. Time categories help you reader following your message: First, Second, Third, and so forth.
  4. Additionally, bullet points or numbered lists are excellent when making short phrases are statements.

Proofreading

Grammar is as important as content. I carefully proofread what I have written and use word processing software to check for mistakes.  I still make mistakes.  If you see any mistakes in my writing, please let me know.

Vocabulary Development

I make it a habit to look up words I don’t know.  Furthermore, my curiosity prompts me to read articles about new terms.  Today, in this digital world, the flow of information gives me the opportunity to grow professionally and personally.

Here are some examples of new words or topics I have learned in the past 5 to 10 years.

“Disruptive” in reference to innovation “Emotional Intelligence” “Mindfulness” in reference to focusing attention on the present moment; also, in reference to breathing meditation

Conclusion

In conclusion, the formula for saying or writing anything is simple. Start with a headline.  Second, state the subject in the opening sentence.  If you wish to write about multiple topics, just say so clearly in the opening.

Use capital letters, subheadings, and transitional devices to introduce each new subject.

Your listeners and readers will appreciate your effort to communicate effectively.

Furthermore, you will find that people take more action and give you better responses with effective communications.

Impact Writing

Impact Writing: 4 Ways to Engage Your Reader

Impact writing: In a digital world, everyone is a writer. However, not everyone entered the digital world with the same writing skills. How can you engage your readers for action and interest?

4 Ways to Engage Your Reader with Impact Writing

  • Don’t Add the Word, “Very.”
  • Don’t write “Is, Was, and By.”
  • Use Words that Show Commitment.
  • Verify Your Quotes.

Don’t Add the Word, “Very.”

Adding the word “very” to a sentence makes it weaker.

There are three options to more impactful writing.

  1. Just cut the word “very.”
  2. Create a comparison for impact.
  3. Use stronger wording.

For example:

Weak: “Susan is very intelligent.”
Comparison: “Susan is more intelligent than her friends.”
A stronger statement: “Susan is brilliant.”

A second example:

Weak: “Bill ran very quickly across the yard.”
Better: Bill ran quickly across the yard.
Stronger wording: “Bill sprinted across the yard.”

Don’t Write “Is, Was, and By”

These three words create longer, weaker sentences.

Weak: “This play was written by Shakespeare. ”
Stronger: “Shakespeare wrote this play.”

Notice that the first sentence is longer.  It has two more words than the second sentence.  The extra words weaken the sentence.  Additionally, effective sentences show action.  They start with the person, place, or thing that acted.

Weak: “The city was flooded by the storm.”
Stronger: “The storm flooded the city.”

Use Words that Show Commitment

Weak: “When I get to it”
Stronger: “I will finish it and have it back to you at 3:00PM.”

Weak: “Maybe I’ll work on it later.”
Better: “I will start on this project at 8:00AM and have it back to you by 11:00AM.”

Verify Your Quotes.

For example, Mark Twain didn’t say,

“If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.”

Winston Churchill didn’t say,

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Abraham Lincoln didn’t say,

“You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.”

You can do a web search to verify quotes. I start with sentence like this, “Benjamin Franklin didn’t say…”

For example, you can search the Internet for “Benjamin Franklin didn’t say a penny saved is a penny earned.”