How to Motivate Yourself to Stand Up and Walk Around

Sitting for extended periods can really take a toll on our bodies and minds. Here are some tips to motivate yourself to stand up and walk around more:

  1. Set Reminders:
  • Technology is your friend: Use your phone or computer to set reminders to stand up and stretch every 30 minutes.
  • Sticky notes: Place them on your monitor, keyboard, or desk to remind you to move.
  • Movement apps: Explore apps that track your movement and encourage you to stand up more.
  1. Gamify It:
  • Step challenges: Compete with friends or colleagues to see who can take the most steps each day.
  • Movement goals: Set daily or weekly goals for steps taken and reward yourself for reaching them.
  • Turn walking into a game: Make it a fun challenge to reach a certain number of steps by lunchtime or by the end of the day.
  1. Make Movement More Appealing:
  • Find a walking buddy: Walking with a friend or colleague can make it more enjoyable and motivating.
  • Listen to podcasts or audiobooks: Make your walks more engaging by listening to something interesting.
  • Explore your surroundings: Take advantage of your walks to explore your neighborhood or workplace and discover new places.
  1. Create a Standing Workstation:
  • Invest in a standing desk converter: This allows you to easily adjust your desk height.
  • Use books or boxes to raise your monitor. This is a simple and affordable way to create a makeshift standing desk.
  1. Schedule Movement Breaks:
  • Walk during your lunch break. * Take short walking meetings.
  • Use the restroom on a different floor.
  1. Make it a Habit:
  • Start small and gradually increase your movement throughout the day.
  • Celebrate your successes and stay positive.

Remember, consistency is key! Even small changes in your routine can make a big difference in your overall health and well-being.

If you’d like, tell me about a specific challenge you’re facing in getting yourself to move more, and I can give you some more tailored advice.

How Going Outdoors Makes Us Happy

It is easy to get stuck indoors, glued to screens and surrounded by artificial light. But escaping the indoors and venturing outside can have a profound impact on our mental and emotional well-being.

How Going Outdoors Makes Us Happy

Sunshine and Vitamin D: Sunlight is a natural source of vitamin D, essential for mood regulation. On the other hand, research has linked vitamin D deficiency to an increased risk of depression.

Endorphin Boost: Physical activity, whether it is a brisk walk, a bike ride, or simply gardening, stimulates the release of endorphins. These “feel-good” hormones have mood-boosting effects, reducing stress and improving overall well-being.

Stress Reduction: Research shows that spending time in nature lowers levels of cortisol, the stress hormone. The sights, sounds, and smells of the natural world can have a calming and restorative effect on the mind and body.

Improved Focus and Creativity: Studies have shown that spending time in nature can improve cognitive function, including focus, attention, and creativity.

Mindfulness and Connection: Being outdoors encourages mindfulness, helping you connect with the present moment and appreciate the beauty around you. It can also foster a sense of connection to something larger than yourself.

Tips for Getting Outdoors

Start Small: Begin with short walks in your neighborhood or a few minutes sitting in your backyard.
Make it Enjoyable: Choose activities you find relaxing or invigorating, such as hiking, gardening, birdwatching, or simply enjoying a picnic.
Incorporate Nature into Your Routine: Take your lunch break outside, walk during your phone calls, or have a morning coffee on your porch.
Find a Buddy: Invite a friend or family member to join you for outdoor activities.

Remember:

While spending time outdoors can significantly boost your mood, it is crucial to remember that it is not a substitute for professional treatment.

If you are struggling with depression, please consult with a mental health professional.

By embracing the healing power of nature, you can take a significant step towards improving your mood, reducing stress, and finding a renewed sense of joy and well-being.

Disclaimer: This information is for general knowledge and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice.

Sources and related content

Raging over Politics is Not Healthy

If you are immersed in following politics on social media, radio talks shows, and cable news and you are feeling angry all the time, stop following politics on social media, radio talk shows, and cable news, unless, of course, you enjoy feeling angry. ~ Jay Wren

A constant stream of angry political content is pointless. If you are immersed in following politics on social media, radio talks shows, and cable news and you are feeling angry all the time, just stop following politics on social media, radio talk shows, and cable news, unless, of course, you enjoy feeling angry.

In America today, there is an inescapable flow of information about current events.  You don’t need to stay constantly plugged in to news sources to know what’s going on.  Absolutely, the constant flow of information can be overwhelming. It’s important to remember that you can stay informed without being constantly plugged in. Setting boundaries on how much news you consume and choosing reliable sources for periodic updates can help maintain a healthy balance.

Here are some solutions for escaping the anger loop.

Sign up for commitments that don’t involve political news. Take a foreign language or computer programming course. Join exercise classes. Exercise, whether it’s a brisk walk, yoga, or a workout at the gym, can help release tension and clear your mind.

Read books on anything but politics.

Stand up and step away from political news sources. Go outside. Just sit on a park bench or a chair in your yard. Nature Breaks: Spending time in nature, even if it’s just a short walk in a park, can be very grounding and help quiet your mind.

Meditate to turn off the noise in your head. Consciously focusing on your breathing or the things around you.

Journaling or writing down your thoughts can help you process and release them. It can be a great way to clear your mind before bed or start your day with a clean slate.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

The Doorway Effect: An Opportunity to Change the Way We Think and Feel

As we walk through every door we have an opportunity to change the way we see the world.  Jay Wren

Have you ever walked into a room only to forget why you went there in the first place? This common experience is known as the “doorway effect,” a fascinating psychological phenomenon that highlights the quirks of our memory.

The Power of Perspective: Embracing Change at Every Doorway

Every doorway we cross is more than just a passage from one place to another; it’s a symbol of transition and transformation. It’s an invitation to embrace change and a chance to view the world through a new lens. This is the essence of perspective – the unique way we perceive our surroundings and experiences.

Imagine if we approached every doorway with enthusiasm for the unknown, ready to learn and grow from what lies beyond. Each threshold could lead to a new adventure, a lesson to be learned, or a mystery to unravel. It’s a thrilling concept that encourages us to be present in the moment and open to the possibilities that each new environment holds.

The beauty of perspective is that it’s entirely within our control. We can choose to see an obstacle as a setback or as an opportunity to overcome and become stronger. We can view a change in our routine not as a disruption but as a refreshing break from the monotony. It’s all about mindset, and with the right one, every doorway becomes a gateway to a richer, more fulfilling life.

So, let’s walk through those doors with our heads held high and our hearts open to change. Let’s use these transitions as moments to reflect, adapt, and reinvent our outlook on life. After all, when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.

As we continue on our journey, let’s carry this message with us: every doorway is an opportunity, and it’s ours for the taking. What new perspectives will you discover today? Let’s step through the next doorway with anticipation and see the world in a whole new light. The adventure awaits!

Photo by Luke Chesser on Unsplash

The Power of Taking a Break to Breathe

The Power of Breathing: Techniques for a Healthier Life

Breathing is something we do every moment of our lives, often without giving it much thought. Yet, the way we breathe can have a profound impact on our physical and mental well-being. In this blog post, we’ll explore the importance of proper breathing techniques and how they can enhance your overall health.

The Importance of Breathing

Breathing is essential for life. It supplies our bodies with oxygen, which is necessary for the functioning of every cell. Proper breathing helps to:

  • Improve oxygen delivery: Efficient breathing ensures that oxygen is delivered to all parts of the body, enhancing energy levels and overall vitality.
  • Reduce stress: Deep, controlled breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and reducing stress levels.
  • Enhance mental clarity: Adequate oxygenation of the brain improves focus, concentration, and cognitive function.
  • Support physical health: Proper breathing can improve cardiovascular health, boost the immune system, and aid in digestion.

Common Breathing Techniques

There are several breathing techniques that can help you harness the power of your breath. Here are a few to consider:

1. Diaphragmatic Breathing

Also known as belly breathing, this technique involves breathing deeply into the diaphragm rather than shallowly into the chest. To practice:

  1. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.
  2. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen.
  3. Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your abdomen to rise while keeping your chest relatively still.
  4. Exhale slowly through your mouth, feeling your abdomen fall.
  5. Repeat for several minutes.

2. Box Breathing

Box breathing is a simple technique that can help calm the mind and reduce stress. To practice:

  1. Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of four.
  2. Hold your breath for a count of four.
  3. Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of four.
  4. Hold your breath again for a count of four.
  5. Repeat the cycle for several minutes.

3. Alternate Nostril Breathing

This technique is often used in yoga to balance the mind and body. To practice:

  1. Sit comfortably with your spine straight.
  2. Use your right thumb to close your right nostril.
  3. Inhale deeply through your left nostril.
  4. Close your left nostril with your right ring finger and release your right nostril.
  5. Exhale slowly through your right nostril.
  6. Inhale through your right nostril, then close it and exhale through your left nostril.
  7. Continue alternating for several minutes.

Incorporating Breathing Techniques into Daily Life

To reap the benefits of proper breathing, try incorporating these techniques into your daily routine:

  • Morning routine: Start your day with a few minutes of diaphragmatic breathing to energize your body and mind.
  • Work breaks: Practice box breathing during breaks to reduce stress and improve focus.
  • Evening relaxation: Use alternate nostril breathing to unwind and prepare for a restful night’s sleep.

Conclusion

Breathing is a powerful tool that can significantly impact your health and well-being. By practicing proper breathing techniques, you can improve your physical health, reduce stress, and enhance mental clarity. Take a few moments each day to focus on your breath and experience the transformative effects it can have on your life.

10 Ways Winners Become Winners

All those things I learned as a child about healthy living are by coincidence the same things that adults do to become winners. ~ Jay Wren

10 Ways Winners Become Winners

There are countless ways to become a winner. Here are ten things I see winners doing that help me.

Winners own their mistakes.

They correct them. They move forward. They don’t let life’s little mistakes lie around and create problems and stress.

Winners don’t apologize all the time.

People who are apologizing all the time aren’t correcting mistakes. They are just trying to deal with the stress of insecurities without understanding why they feel insecure.

Winners talk to friends.

Just having friends helps us beat stress.  Talking to friends gets us out of my own head and into the present moment. Talking to friends helps me get my bearings. Talking to friends can also help me deal with the stress of insecurities that can cause me to apologize all the time.

Winners do it now.

Of course, we feel stressed when we keep putting off what we need to do. I win when I do the things I need to do.

Winners write it down.

When something is bothering me, I can write it down. Writing takes the sting out of stress. If I have something that I need to do but can’t do now, I can write it down. Having a list creates a plan of action. Having the plan helps me become more productive. When I become more productive, I have a sense of accomplishment. I feel less stress.

Winners eat healthy stuff first.

We must eat. Sometimes our cravings are going to make us eat junk. Winners don’t worry about it. But they eat the healthy stuff first.

Winners take breaks!

No one can run wind sprints all day long. Winners take breaks. Breaks make us more productive. People who work in virtual offices can easily forget to take breaks. I stand up. I walk away from my desk and walk around for five minutes. I lie down for a couple of minutes. I take breaks by getting away from my work. Not taking breaks creates fatigue, which screws up our perspective and stresses us out.

Winners get plenty of sleep.

Lack of sleep causes depression and anxiety. Lack of sleep creates stress. I get plenty of sleep and live with a clear, rested mind.

Winners get real!

It is so easy to believe that we have some kind of control over national or international event way beyond our control. Get real. We can’t police the universe! Being the police officer of the universe is completely fruitless and painfully stressful.

Winners get help!

Asking for help does remarkable things. Winners gain the advantage of getting help with their success. With one person rowing, you can power a small boat or a canoe. With dozens of people rowing, you can move a large ship.

Photo by Codioful (Formerly Gradienta) on Unsplash

 

Five Steps for Reducing Stress and Increasing Happiness

Six steps to reducing stress and increasing happiness.

Live in the Present Moment.

Living in the present moment means being fully aware of what is happening right now, without dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. It is a state of mind that can bring many benefits, such as:

  • Reducing stress and anxiety
  • Enhancing happiness and gratitude
  • Improving focus and creativity
  • Strengthening relationships and empathy

Breathe deeply and consciously.

Breathing is the most basic and essential function of life, yet we often take it for granted. By paying attention to your breath, you can anchor yourself to the present moment and calm your mind. Try to breathe deeply and slowly, filling your lungs with air and exhaling fully. Notice how your chest and abdomen rise and fall, and how your body feels with each breath. You can also use a simple mantra, such as “I am here, I am now”, to focus your attention.

Observe your surroundings.

Another way to live in the present moment is to observe your surroundings with curiosity and openness. Use your senses to notice the details of your environment, such as the colors, shapes, sounds, smells, and textures. You can also try to find something new or interesting in familiar places, such as a flower, a painting, or a sign. By doing this, you can appreciate the beauty and diversity of life, and avoid getting stuck in your thoughts.

Do one thing at a time.

In today’s busy and multitasking world, it is easy to get distracted and lose focus. However, doing too many things at once can make you feel overwhelmed and stressed, and reduce the quality of your work and experience. To live in the present moment, try to do one thing at a time, and give it your full attention and energy. Whether it is reading a book, cooking a meal, or having a conversation, immerse yourself in the activity and enjoy the process.

Express gratitude.

You can express gratitude by writing a journal, saying thank you to someone, or simply reflecting on what you are grateful for. By doing this, you can boost your happiness and well-being, and foster a positive outlook on life.

The Power of Information

The Power of Information
If your friends, social media, and daily news make you fearful, hateful, and angry, you need better sources of information. Spend time with people, social media, and daily news that give you hope, joy, and solutions that lead to success in your life.  ~ Jay Wren

 

Photo by Luke Chesser on Unsplash

Life Challenges

Life’s challenges create pressure. I cannot always eliminate these challenges, but I can be smart about how I respond to them.

Action

I feel stressed when I put things off.

To overcome procrastination, I simply agree to do one small thing. A common example is to go for a walk, I lace up my shoes. To do odd jobs around the house, I lay out my tools. Often, this one thing sets in motion my completing small tasks. To reduce stress, I break projects down into multiple, simple steps.

When I am stuck with writing an article, for example, I write a statement. From there I write the information to explain the statement. I might write one paragraph. I save what I have written as a draft. During the day, I may stop and leave my work. However, by coming back with a fresh mind and additional information through the day, I complete the article.

Write Things Down

When something is bothering me, I can write it down. Writing takes the sting out of stress. Further writing helps me process anxiety. Moreover, further writing often leads to solutions to solving problems that bother me.

From there, I have a plan of action that gives me the confidence to be more productive. I have a sense of accomplishment. I feel less stressed.

Eat Healthy Food First

When hunger makes me anxious between meals, a snack cuts my anxiety until mealtime.

Sugar snacks make me hungrier. The sugar demands insulin to burn the sugar. Somewhere in the lack of balance between sugar and insulin, I feel anxious.

Therefore, I try to keep more satisfying snacks handy. Cheese, nuts, peanut butter are calorically dense, but reduce cravings and quiet the anxious voices in my head.

Take Breaks

Being tired clutters my mind. I become less productive. My cluttered mind focuses on problems.

For me, a power nap or a walk help me recover from the fatigue of working on most projects. Simply taking a walk reduces my anxiety.

To remind myself to move each hour, I have notifications on my calendar to leave my desk and move around.

I Take Breaks and Sleep at Night

Not only do I take breaks. I try to get seven hours of sleep. Allowing my brain to rest enables me to make better decisions. Better decisions increase success and cut stress.

Lack of rest is one of the steps to burnout. We reach a point where overdoing our job cripples us in ways that we cannot perform at work.

Keep It Real

It is so easy for me to want to control national or international events. Thinking that I can control these things is completely fruitless and painfully stressful.

People in forums say things that annoy me. Correcting them is pointless. I cannot police the Internet!

Likewise, I can easily believe that I can change other people. There are things that I can do that affect how other people react. However, just changing my own behavior is not always easy. Believing that I can change other people is often impractical.

Frustration over the things I cannot change creates stress. I try to keep it real about the things that I can change and not change.

Talk with Friends

Just having friends helps me beat stress. Talking to friends gets me out of my own head and into the present moment.  Furthermore, in talking with friends, I get practical information on dealing with life’s challenges, thereby increasing success and stress reduction.

Stress Reduction

Reducing stress from life’s challenges clears our mind and increases our long-term success. The steps to stress reduction include steps to increase our health.

Take Breaks

Take breaks: I can become so absorbed in my work that I don’t realize that I am too tired to be effective. However, not stopping to rest is counterproductive. When I am pushing myself mentally and physically, I may complete less work. Moreover, I may deal with situations poorly. Not taking breaks can lead to mistakes. I am in fact wasting time that would be better spent working more efficiently after taking a break.

When I take breaks, I feel better. A break restores my energy. I feel refreshed. My attitude becomes healthier. I decompress. My mind clears. With a clear mind, I can focus on my work. My mind and emotions worked together more effectively (emotional intelligence). I reduce the risk of career burnout!

Warning Signs

Learn to recognize the warning signs that you need a break. Here are examples. Additionally, learn to treat warning signs as feedback that you are not at your peak level of performance.

  1. Loss of focus
  2. Worrying
  3. Fear
  4. Insecurity
  5. Regret
  6. Guilt
  7. Shortness of Temper
  8. Prolonged Feeling of Frustration
  9. Fatigue
  10. Hunger

Power Nap

A 20-minute power nap has been part of my lifestyle for years. Thomas Edison took power naps every day. President Ronald Reagan once said, “I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I’m in a cabinet meeting.” There is no shame in resting your eyes, mind, and body.

Quiet Lunch

I knew a marketing manager who required his people to eat lunch at their desk. Eating helps restore my energy. It calms my nerves. But when I am trying to eat and work at the same time, three things happen and none of them is good. I enjoy my meal less. My mind must shift back and forth from my meal to my work. Moreover, when working with my hands, I must go back and forth between handling my food and doing my work.

On the other hand, going to a quiet place to eat has is refreshing. Like taking a nap, I give my mind a rest. Anxiety, mental clutter, fatigue may disappear. Meeting a friend for lunch may help even more.

Physical Activity

Physical activity is a helpful way to take breaks. Just walk around a different block. Generally, I leave my work behind for twenty minutes. I go someplace new when you can. It is refreshing to take a different route and go at different times of day. Walking burns away restlessness and anxiety.

With the pressures of body image, we lose sight of the importance of being mentally healthy. In walking 20 minutes, most people burn around 100 calories. The biggest benefit is between your ears. You think better. Even if you work out before or after work, a daily walk is well worth the mental gains.

An Aside

Leaving your desk to exercise does give your mind a break. For additional opportunities for exercise, there are things you can do to exercise at your desk. As you are rearranging things on your desktop, stand up. When you are talking on the phone, stand up. When you are returning or retrieving things from your desktop to your desk drawers, stand up.

While you are working at your desk, tighten your stomach, leg, chest, shoulder, ankles, feet and neck. Roll your ankles. Arch your back. Stretch your arms. As you pause from typing or when you are on the phone, roll your neck.

Take Breaks: Department of Labor

The Department of Labor provides a list of minimum paid meal breaks and rest breaks.

“Federal law does not require lunch or coffee breaks. However, when employers do offer short breaks (usually lasting about 5 to 20 minutes), federal law considers the breaks as compensable work hours that would be included in the sum of hours worked during the workweek and considered in determining if overtime was worked. Unauthorized extensions of authorized work breaks need not be counted as hours worked when the employer has expressly and unambiguously communicated to the employee that the authorized break may only last for a specific length of time, that any extension of the break is contrary to the employer’s rules, and any extension of the break will be punished.

Meal periods (typically lasting at least 30 minutes), serve a different purpose than coffee or snack breaks and, thus, are not work time and are not compensable.”

Balanced Life

Successful people live a balanced life. They work hard. Sometimes they push themselves to finish a project, even weeks at a time. But they know how to take breaks. In addition to work breaks, they take time for the people in their life. They make wise choices in the food they eat. Additionally, they take time to exercise. A time to rest is part of their daily routine. They take time for recreation and entertainment. They live a balanced life. Every aspect of a balanced life is a way to take breaks.

 

Happiness and Joy: Steps for Finding Happiness Now

Don’t Wait for Success to Find Happiness.

Happiness and Joy don’t happen in the past or the future.  Everything can only exist here and now.  Becoming happy and finding joy today gives us energy and brings joy to our lives.

The past and the future are just thoughts. They are only as real as we make them. www.jaywren.com

Thinking about the past opens the door to regret and guilt.  Thinking about the future opens the door to the fear of losing something or failing to get something.

When we are living inside our heads, the world moves along without us.

While many people spend time thinking about the future, other people are living in the present moment to build success and security.  They are allowing themselves to know joy and happiness. They live fuller lives.  Their minds are free and energized with focus.

Most people have found satisfaction in achieving a goal.  There is peace of mind in having financial security.

But happiness must happen as we go along in life. Being happy gives us the energy to achieve our goals and create security.

Be Open Joy and Happiness

If we say that I will be happy when I get that job or that car or that other person in our life, we are cheating ourselves but putting conditions on our happiness.  What happens to our lives when we find that we have plenty of money for our security but live in fear of losing that money?  How happy are we when we have plenty of security, but are jealous of people who have more prosperity than we have?  The fact is that we are not happy.

The first step in achieving joy and happiness is to get out of our head and into our world.  Thinking about the past or the future creates risks to our happiness.  Resenting people for their success takes our mind off the things we need to do to ensure our own success.

Take Action for Joy and Happiness

Here are things I do to find joy and happiness in the present moment.

Gratitude: I simply make a short list of things for which I am grateful.

Perspective:  Why fret over things that we can’t control?  I can’t control the weather, media, behavior of other people, fluctuations of the stock market, ad infinitum.  However, I don’t have to think about those things.

We don’t have to wait for success to be happy.  We just take action to create a healthier mind.

Toxic Personalities: A Poison in the Workplace

Toxic personalities create stress that spreads throughout an organization.  What are the skills that you can develop to survive and even change toxic people?

Know What You Can Control

If you have the authority to act on the people with toxic personalities, it is your responsibility to change the behavior of these people or remove them from the workplace.

If you do not have authority over these people, there are steps you can take to steel yourself and even change their behavior.

Additionally, if you can in no way change the conditions of working with toxic personalities, you might consider changing jobs. Dealing with the daily stress of working with difficult people is painful in ways that can affect your mental and physical health.

Anger

Acting out of anger can just make the problem worse. The person with the toxic personality can become offended and defensive. They see you (your actions or personality) as the problem in the relationship.

On the other hand, you must prepare to be firm. I have dealt successfully with toxic behavior by confronting a person with the facts and consequences of their actions. However, changing a person’s personality is difficult. The process takes more than showing the facts of their behavior. Personality change, especially with toxic personalities, takes a commitment from the person with the problem

Skills for Surviving or Even Growing around Toxic Personalities.

Toxic people: When you can’t fight them, don’t join them.  However, make yourself healthier.

When I can’t change the behavior of toxic people or avoid these people altogether, I focus on the changes I can make in myself to become a healthier person.

Here are some things that work for me.

1. I write about my feelings.

When I write about my feelings, I cut the sting of painful emotions.

In writing about my emotions, I name my feelings.  Fear, anger anxiety, insecurity, and resentment are common feelings that people have around toxic people. You may have other bad feelings. When I experience these feelings, I write about them.

2. I write about my actions.

In this step, I can see what things I can change in my own behavior to reduce the damage in a toxic relationship.  For example, if I act out of anger, I can change my actions.

3. I discuss what I am feeling with a mentor.

One of the problems with writing about my feelings is that I have trouble seeing solutions.  Instead I focus on how people have harmed me.

However, I have close friends I can trust.  These people keep what I tell them a secret.  These friends are mentors who show me how I can grow and improve my behavior.

4. Avoid the Poison: When I can’t change the behavior of toxic people, I avoid them. If there is no reason to have to deal with them, I don’t.

Fate and Luck: Playing Comes Before Winning

Fate and Luck: Luck comes to those who act.  Fate decides who wins.  But acting often and acting smarter increases our odds of turning fate in our favor.

In life or in cards, we can’t win without playing.
~ www.jaywren.com

Fate and Luck

I have had good luck and bad luck.  But without work, I could not have had the luck to do so many things I enjoy.

My luck in college increased greatly when I realized that I didn’t have to be the smartest student in the room.  I had to put luck on my side by doing the things that, for me, were necessary to be as successful as people smarter than I was.

I was lucky to get into Naval Officer Candidate School. However, if I had not worked hard in college, I would not have had the opportunity to apply for NOCS and become a bridge officer on the carrier, USS Midway.

Also, I had the good luck to work at two major consumer companies. However, the time and effort I put into college and into my work as an officer in the Navy paved the way for me to get an interview with these companies.
Adrenal hormone in ED is not much clear, but many diagnostic reports predict its role in male impotence. *

As a business owner, I had success and frustration.  I learned early on that I could not control the results.  Results are about fate.  However, by making more phone calls, working extra hours, adjusting to changes in technology, I had the good fortune to run a successful business for thirty years.

You Can’t Control the Results

Some you win. Some you lose. Some get rained out.  The results are fate.  We work hard.  We do the correct things.  But the world changes. Technology, industrial dynamics, economics, and other things change.  Things beyond our control change.

However, you can do the things that influence the outcome.  For example, poker is a game of betting on the cards you have and the cards you hope to have.

However, great poker players know as well as anyone how fate controls the outcome of a hand.  Holding aces never guarantees a win.  But playing the hand, and playing it smartly, increases the odds of winning. And great poker players win often.

Not only in poker, but in everything I do, I play to win.  I know that taking the right action increases my chances of success.

Stress Reduction for a Clear and Productive Mind

Stress reduction: Life’s challenges create pressure. I can’t always eliminate these challenges, but I can reduce the pressure by being smart about how I respond to them.

Action

I feel stress when I put things off.

To overcome procrastination, I simply agree to do one small thing. A common example is to go for a walk, I lace up my shoes. To do odd jobs around the house, I lay out my tools. Often, this one thing sets in motion my completing small tasks.  To reduce stress, I break projects down into multiple, simple steps.

When I am stuck with writing an article, for example, I write a statement. From there I write the information to explain the statement. I might write one paragraph.  I save what I have written as a draft.  Over a few hours, I may stop several times. However, by coming back a new information through the day, I complete the article.

Write Things Down.

When something is bothering me, I can write it down.  Writing takes the sting out of stress. Further writing helps me process anxiety. Moreover, the further writing often leads to solutions to solving problems that bother me.

From there, I have a plan of action that gives me the confidence to be more productive. I have a sense of accomplishment.  I feel less stress.

Eat Healthy Food First

When hunger makes me anxious between meals, a snack cuts my anxiety until mealtime.

Sugar snacks make me hungrier.  The sugar demands insulin to burn the sugar. Somewhere in the lack of balance between sugar and insulin, I feel anxious.

Therefore, I try to keep more satisfying snacks handy.  Cheese, nuts, peanut butter are calorically dense, but reduce cravings and quiet the anxious voices in my head.

Take Breaks

Being tired clutters my mind. I become less productive. My cluttered mind focuses on problems.

For me, a power nap or a walk help me recover from the fatigue of working on most projects.  Simply walking for a few minutes reduces my anxiety.

To remind myself to move each hour, I have notifications on my calendar to leave my desk and move around.

Get Plenty of Sleep

Not only do I take breaks. I try to get plenty of sleep.  Allowing my brain to rest enables me to make better decisions. Better decisions increase success and cut stress.

Lack of rest is one of the steps to burnout.  We reach a point where overdoing our job cripples us in ways that we can’t perform at work.

Keep It Real

It is so easy for me to want to control national or international events.  Thinking that I can control these things is completely fruitless and painfully stressful.

People in forums say things that annoy me.  Correcting them is pointless.  I can’t police the Internet!

Likewise, I can easily believe that I can change other people.  There are things that I can do that affect how other people react.  However, just changing my own behavior is not always easy.  Believing that I can change other people is often impractical.

Frustration over the things I can’t change creates stress.  I try to keep it real about the things that I can change and not change.

Talk with Friends

Just having friends helps me beat stress.  Talking to friends gets me out of my own head and into the present moment.  Furthermore, in talking with friends, I get practical information on dealing with challenges in my life, thereby increasing success and stress reduction.

Stress Reduction

Reducing stress clears our mind and increases our long-term success. The steps to stress reduction include steps to increase our health.

Poise: Steps to Confidence and Increasing Your Potential

Poise is not always automatic. Nearly everyone feels uncertain and lacks poise from time-to-time. How do successful people restore their confidence and maintain their poise in challenging situations?

Poise starts between our ears and spreads through our heart and our gut and then outward through our face and our gestures. ~ www.jaywren.com

Situations that Weaken our Poise

Our insecurities can make it difficult for us to feel confident and poised.  A lack of experience or a bad experience can undermine our poise. Situations where we fear people are judging us weakens our confidence and poise. Especially public speaking plays with our fears that people are judging us and undermines our ability to speak effectively.

My Personal Experience
Although I feel confident to give a prepared presentation, I can feel uncertain when I know that people are looking over my shoulder and judging me.  When I first became a salesman, for example, I lacked the poise to give presentations in front of supervisors.  It took months before I had the confidence to relax and be more effective. Not only did my product knowledge improve and lead to more confidence. I also learned that my role was not to show how impressive I was. Rather, I learned that the purpose of my call was to help buyers understand what they needed to know to make an intelligent decision about my programs and products.

Even with the increased comfort of giving sales presentations in front my supervisors, I learned the importance of developing skills for restoring my confidence and increasing my poise.

Poise: Steps to Confidence and Increasing Your Potential

Over time, I have developed tools to help me feel more confident.  Some of these are simple. Others take time and practice.  Here are tools I have developed to create energy and confidence around other people.

Breathe

You don’t have to stop for a 20-minute mindfulness meditation to use breathing to gather composure.  Anxiety can suppress our breathing.  A lack of oxygen creates even more anxiety.  However, replenishing oxygen with a breath can reduce anxiety.

Breathe in slowly.  Mentally focus on your breath.  The process will give your body the oxygen to burn the adrenaline from anxiety.  Furthermore, focusing on your breathing redirects your thinking from your anxiety to a calming breath and allows you to become spontaneous.  You will return to an effective mental flow of your tasks. With the present moment mental flow, you will gather composure.

Listen with a Purpose

Focus on what people are saying.  Ask yourself why they are saying those things.  Think of how the information from other people is useful to you.  Seeing the benefits in another person’s message takes your focus off your insecurities and creates positive feelings about what you are learning.

Practice Intelligent Silence

Intelligent silence is powerful. Attending meetings and listening helps us understand the proposals, the discussion, and the decisions. Additionally, listening helps us give meaningful feedback and input. We appear more thoughtful and poised. When we do speak, we become a valuable contributor to the discussion.

Bring an Agenda

Come to meetings with a list of things that you want to know and things you want to say.  This approach is especially helpful when you are attending a job interview. Having the agenda in front of you creates focus and empowers you with confidence that you are at the meeting with a purpose.

Giving Support to Others

Giving your support to others in meetings takes your focus off your insecurities. In seeing how you can help others get their message heard, you create focus on the purpose of the meeting and not on how you feel about yourself.

Conclusion

Creating skills for poise can help us in every aspect of our careers. Additionally, these skills help us enjoy the times when we are with our friends and family.  Equally important, these skills even help us get out of our head and into the flow of the present moment. When we are working alone or simply relaxing alone, we can enjoy the pleasures of poise.

Bias Dictates the Thoughts that Govern Us

Bias dictates to our reason and wisdom, but is it always bad?  What role does it play in decision-making and in governing our actions? Knowing that we have bias and learning how to manage our bias empowers us to act intelligently to the world in which we live.

The biggest challenge is managing our bias is recognizing that they exist, and that fact is not a bad thing. Biases create an awareness that we are dealing with things that are important to us.

How Bias Dictates Our Decisions

Bias is the visceral, negative, or positive feelings that we have about a person, place, or thing.  These feelings simplify our lives to interpret the world to our liking.  It bypasses our ability to reason.  Also, it is that noisy voice that drowns out wisdom. Biases drive the way we want to see the world.

This voice is an essential element of human nature.  Patriotism, faith, political ideology, and fandom sit atop our biases.  The powerful effect of bias can bring us together to form successful groups.  In sports, business, or other matters of competition, the voice of our bias motivates us to support our team and defeat or competitors.

Additionally, these feelings can make life fun.  The excitement, love, and joy we feel for our sports team, political party, religion, or family members come from these feelings.

We hear the word “biased” often from the proud parent who brags about a child.  The parent closes with, “Of course, I am not biased.” Nod, nod, wink.

Furthermore, these feelings bring us peace.  They help us overcome doubt and fear.  Bias can create healthy, positive emotions that carry us through periods of uncertainty.

At other times, bias can create tension when our feelings conflict with the thoughts and feelings of other people.  Discussing religion, sports, politics, and any other feelings about our core beliefs with people who don’t share those beliefs can undermine the bonds of loyalty within a team or among co-workers who interact with each other.

Emotional Intelligence: A Healthy Relationship with Our Bias Dictates

Since bias has beneficial effects and adverse effects on how we think, having a healthy relationship with these feelings is important.

The first step is recognizing that we have biases.

Unlike the emotions that float through our daily lives, biases become hard-wired to our beliefs.  These feelings respond to triggers. When we hear or see things that instantly and subconsciously stir our emotions, the noisy voice of bias can drown out the voice of reason.

We believe in the things that we like.  We get angry when we hear or sear things that we don’t like.  When we interpret the world as good or evil based on our emotions, it is difficult for us to know what is true or false in the world.  Likewise, it is easy for biases to deceive us into making bad decisions.

The second step in having a healthy, productive relationship with our bias is learning to pause. We can let our emotions settle. From there, we can attempt to take an objective look at the things that are happening.

Additionally, we can speak with other people who are not involved in the situation. People who are not driven with the same bias as you.  From their thoughts, we can create a plan based on emotional intelligence.

Mental Flow: Present Moment Awareness Continues Through Time

Mental Flow: Living in the present moment is like riding a canoe. You have control with your paddle, but you ride effortlessly in the river’s current.
~ www.jaywren.com

In a previous article, Becoming Aware: The Power of Living in the Present Moment, I wrote,

“Doing one thing at a time and clearing my mind of everything else: these steps empower my mind to a higher level of thinking.”

To some people the phrase “the present moment” implies an instance in time. And that understanding is correct. However, the concept that I am discussing is to experience a mental awareness flowing freely and without distraction.  For example, if you are engrossed in a movie, your mind is not thinking about the theater, the people around you, or things from your past or your future. Instead, you mind flows with the movie.

Flow is critical in athletic sports or chess or poker or any competition for that matter.  The greats don’t analyze.  They just see solutions and flow through them. A baseball fielder doesn’t mentally stop and analyze how to make a catch. Through training and mental awareness, the player’s mind carries the player through the catch and into the next motion to throw the ball to the pitcher or to another player to complete a play.

When they sense a change in the circumstances around themselves, their instincts can kick in to enable them to adjust to the new situation.

During the game, in all sports the greatest coaches, don’t want their players thinking about the score, the crowd, or the players on the other team. They want their players in a mental flow of executing a play exactly the way that the coach has trained them.

Benefits of Living in a Mental Flow

When in a mental flow, you experience a higher level of thought. You become intuitive, mentally receptive.  You release the pain of ruminating over the past or worrying about the future.  From my point of view, I can’t change the past, and most of the things that I worry about never happen.

Passionate Choices: Making Success a Natural Lifestyle

Passionate Choices: Common sense tells us to sleep, exercise, and eat correctly.  How do we find the passion for making healthy choices?

Are You Struggling?

If you are struggling, you are not alone. Tens of millions of Americans do not get enough sleep, do not exercise regularly, and eat processed food that makes them overweight.

Common Sense is not Enough.

It seems to me that most people have the common sense to know how their energy, mental clarity, and self-esteem rise with healthy habits.

However, according to the National Institute of Health, one-third of Americans are not getting enough sleep. Two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.

Spending Money is Not the Answer.

According to various articles online, Americans spend between $40 and $60 billion each year on sleep aids, weight loss, and exercise programs.

Taking sleep aids may make it easier for us to fall asleep. People who stay up too late and take a sleep aid to go to sleep are more tired than people who simply go to bed on time.

Believing that a financial commitment will lead to a change of behavior, people sign a year-long contract to a gym in January. By March, most people had stopped going regularly. Others do not go at all.

Additionally, other people buy expensive exercise equipment. Much of this equipment ends up gathering dust in the corner or on Craigslist.

Passionate Choices: How People Form Healthy Habits

People talk all the time about following their passion in their careers. To create healthy habits in our lives, we must find healthy habits that stir our passions for healthy living.

No one has needs to tell avid golfers to get off the sofa. They are too passionate about playing golf to care about the sofa.  Tennis, fishing, soccer, softball, basketball, running, sailing, or any exercise that stirs our passions are good choices for creating new habits.

I have switched activities from time to time. But I continue to find new physical activities that I love.

As for eating healthy foods, I have never given up cake or ice cream. However, for 6 days of each week, I eat things that are healthiest for me instead. I have good luck with eating a ketogenic diet. My eating plan is 10 percent carbohydrates, 20-25 percent protein, and 65-70 percent protein. I track what I eat and track my weight.

About once a week, I purposely drift away from my eating plan to eat the most indulgent things I can find. And I reminded myself the next day that I had planned to eat that way for one-day week.

Then I return to my keto eating plan. The indulgent day kick-starts my metabolism into high gear. It is not just a day of pleasure. The indulgent day is a day of necessity. I have fun and feel passionate about the way I eat and about the results.

Breaking Habits: How to Quit by Doing Something Else

New Year Success: Personal Steps to Powering Up 2018

New Year Success: The new year is a great time to reset routines.  Here are things that I am doing to make this year fun and productive.

  • Plan play time
  • Spend Time with Supportive People
  • Meet New People and Make New Friends
  • Spend Twenty Minutes for Quiet Time
  • Forgive My Enemies

New Year Success

Do more than make resolutions to lose weight, exercise, and work harder for New Year Success.

Do things that will make you happier and emotionally stronger. Empower your new year success with greater physical and mental health.

Plan Play Time

Before scheduling anything else on your calendar, schedule time for recreation.  Certainly, plan recreational things to do on your days off.

Furthermore, schedule recreation for the middle of the work week.  Sports activities are excellent ways to relieve stress and have fun during work week. A few holes of golf.  Basketball, softball, baseball, golf.  Something you enjoy and that helps you relieve stress and relieve emotional kinks.

Including your friends in these activities reinforces your commitment.

Spend Time with Supportive People

Good company does more than make life fun.  Family members and friends who encourage you build your confidence.  Furthermore, these people can help you find solutions and succeed in difficult times.

Meet New People and Make New Friends

Go places where you can make friends with people who share your interests.  Health club. places of worship. business conferences, and meetups are some places where you can meet new people.

Furthermore, meeting and connecting with new people helps you extend your network and discover new ideas for success.

Twenty Minutes of Quiet Time

Take twenty minutes a day to rest and clear my mind.  Rest your eyes. Meditate. Pray. Take a nap. Take a walk.

Set a time that works with your schedule.  That is, first thing in the morning, during the work day, or after work.

Find a place where you can sit quietly.  Close your eyes and relax.

Practice Forgiveness

Anger and resentments rob us of peace and gratitude for the rewards in our life.

Holding on to anger and resentments builds tension and drains our energy.

Letting go of these feelings helps us return to the present moment and enjoy life more.

Career Burnout: When Working Less Becomes a Priority

Career Burnout: In a culture where people believe that working hard can overcome any obstacle, reality teaches us that we have limitations. We burnout. ~ www.jaywren.com

I am a few days late writing this article on purpose.  For the past two weeks I have had trouble writing.  During that time, I sensed that I needed a break.  Career burnout is not new to me.  I have learned from my experience that relentlessly pushing through obstacles leads to not being able to work at all.

Now that I feel better, I want to talk about the trouble that career burnout has caused me.

When Relentless Effort Becomes Destructive

The term “burnout” in reference to job performance comes from an article “Staff Burn-Out” by Herbert J. Freudenberger, first published in January 1974  in the Journal of Social Issues.
In 1980, Herbert Freudenberger collaborated with Richelson Géraldine to write the book Burnout: The High Cost of High Achievement.

My Experience with Career Burnout

I am a high achiever who believed for years that I could work past any obstacle.

Whatever the job requirements, I would exceed them.  I believed that exceeding requirements would always create greater success. When my results did not match my expectations, I worked harder.

Pushing myself this way has led to periods in my life when I just could not work.

For me, recognizing the difference between a challenging period in my career and real burnout are hard to see. Here are symptoms I respond to before burning out.

  • Depression
  • Physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion
  • Inability to engage mentally in my work
  • Apathy
  • Fear, anger, and uncertainty
  • Despair of achieving my goals
  • Inability to be present for my work or my family
  • Inability to accept that my relentless pursuit of success was self-defeating

8 Steps I Take to Prevent Burnout

Here are 8 simple steps I take to prevent going over the edge into career burnout.

  1. Taking breaks.
  2. Finding emotional support through friendships and family.
  3. Trying new things: new routine, new skills, new tools
  4. Making a list of my work priorities.
  5. Doing one thing at a time.
  6. Getting regular physical exercise.
  7. Using techniques for resting my mind from work: meditation, short breaks, meeting or calling friends to relieve stress.
  8. Watching or listening to things that are relaxing, motivational, or inspirational

I continually work on balance in work, entertainment, exercise, family, and quiet time.  Experience has taught me that balance more than relentless effort leads to long-term success.

Passionate Living: Turning Resolutions into a Lifestyle

Passionate Living:  Common sense tells us to sleep, exercise, and eat correctly.  How do we find the passion for a healthy life?

Are You Struggling?

If you are struggling, you are not alone. Tens of millions of Americans do not get enough sleep, do not exercise regularly, and eat processed food that makes them overweight.

Common Sense is not Enough.

It seems to me that most people have the common sense to know how their energy, mental clarity, and self-esteem rise with healthy habits.

However, one-third of Americans are not getting enough sleep. Two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.

Spending Money is Not the Answer.

According to various articles online, Americans spend between $40 and $60 billion each year on sleep aids, weight loss, and exercise programs.

Buying sleep aids doesn’t change our behavior.  People who stay up too late and take a sleep aid to go to sleep are more tired than people who simply go to bed on time.

Believing that a financial commitment will lead to a change of behavior, people sign a year-long contract to a gym in January.  By March, most people have stopped going regularly.  Others don’t go at all.

Additionally, other people buy expensive exercise equipment.  Much of this equipment ends up gathering dust in the corner or on Craigslist.

Passionate Living: How People Form Healthy Habits

No one has needs to tell avid golfers to get off the sofa.  They are too passionate about playing golf to care about the sofa.  Tennis, fishing, soccer, softball, basketball, running, sailing, or any exercise that stirs our passions are good choices for creating new habits.

I have switched activities from time to time. But I continue to find new physical activities that I love.

As for eating healthy foods, I have never given up cake or ice cream.  However, for 6 days of each week, I eat things that are healthiest for me instead.  I have good luck with eating a ketogenic diet.  My eating plan is 10 percent carbohydrates, 20-25 percent protein, and 65-70 percent fat. I track what I eat and track my weight.

About once a week, I purposely drift away from my eating plan to eat the most indulgent things I can find.  And, I remind myself the next day that I had planned to eat that way for one-day week.

Then I return to my keto eating plan. The indulgent day kick-starts my metabolism into high gear.  It is not just a day of pleasure.  The indulgent day is a day of necessity.  I have fun and feel passionate about the way I am eating and about the results.

Attitudes: How to Choose the Way We See the World

Attitudes: How is it that some people seem to have a natural, positive attitude? Even when life gives them challenges, these people live wonderful lives.

Attitudes not only affect the way we see the world. Attitudes change the way we deal with the world. 

Understanding Moods and Attitudes

When I am in hungry, tired, or rushed, things can seem more personal.   I may feel more anxious or impatient.   My mood declines and my attitude declines with it.  I may feel angry over things that might not otherwise bother me.

It is easier for me to treat other people the way I feel.  Then I infect them with my bad attitude.  By simply taking a deep breath, having lunch, or taking a break, I can often change the way everything looks and improve the way I treat other people.

By understanding that other people experience the same decline in attitudes based on what is going on with them, I can avoid catching a bad attitude from them.  They are human.  I am human.  I can allow them the same understanding people have so often given me.

My response to other people in this light relieves me of the stress of owning their bad feelings.  I can let those actions toward me to pass.  I feel healthier when I can to see that, as humans, we share the same wiring.  I can find compassion for people who need compassion.  I can find patience with people who are being impatient.  I can stop and listen to people who are being rude without agreeing but simply letting them air out their thinking.

Conditions Affect Moods

Driving has a profound territorial impact on attitudes.  In my car, I have a sense that I am in my personal moving territory.  My mind says that the area around my car is like the yard around my house. It is my space, my yard, my safe distance between from other people and cars, my mobile territory.

If another driver moves into my mobile territory, I have a sense of violation and frustration.  My sense of mobile territory can even extend to a sense of injustice when I see a driver cut off another driver.

Among the thousands of other drivers on the highways every day, there are people who feel overwhelmed, experiencing grief, living in fear in failure, or experiencing other very difficult situations. There are other people who are simply tired and hungry and have just had a dreadful day and caught a bad attitude from someone else.

However, I can’t change their attitude.  On the other hand. I can change my attitude.  Maintaining a bad attitude is painful.   If I allow myself to stay angry or anxious, or fearful, I am trying to punish other people when I am hurting myself.  Bad attitudes are very painful.

 Furthermore, good attitudes have so many benefits.

  1. I am healthier.
  2. I feel better.
  3. I can focus.
  4. I can feel joy in the present moment.
  5. I can celebrate life as a flow of passing events.

When someone has a cold, I do not see them as being a bad person.  I see them as a person with a temporary disease.  When someone has a bad attitude, I see them as a person with a temporary attitude disorder.

When you can, avoid people with bad attitudes.

Most people avoid those types of people.  However, when that person is your boss or coworker, you may find that the best way to keep from catching negative attitudes from these people only takes some practical steps.

  1. Be very positive and upbeat around these people.
  2. If the person is your boss, try to understand what your boss wants done and try to do those things without expectation of approval.
  3. See them as people and not as evil forces.
  4. Angry, rude, difficult, even obnoxious people are just people.   When I see them as human just as I am human, I realize that they are the one in pain not me.

Surrounding Myself with Positive People

The most important thing that I can do is to stay close to positive people and read or watch positive things. I love the healing that I get from positive people, places, and things.  Today I am going to catch the good attitudes and heal the bad ones, in myself and in the people around me.

Breaking Habits: How to Quit by Doing Something Else

Breaking Habits: Why is quitting unhealthy or counterproductive habits so difficult? What are the tools that everyone can use to end these habits and start healthier and more productive habits?

Quitting a bad habit is easier when we do something healthy instead. ~ www.jaywren.com

Here are some typical unhealthy or counterproductive habits: procrastination, sitting, overspending, drinking too much alcohol, tardiness, snacking, staying up too late, and so on.

Guilt is Never the Answer

Guilt is never the answer to quitting or breaking habits. You are not weak. However, unhealthy, rude habits are powerful. We succumb to our habits to find comfort from bad feelings. Guilt only makes the habits more powerful.

My Story

I am going to discuss the steps I used to stop smoking. However, these steps work in breaking habits of all types.

Smoking may not pose a health threat for everyone. People who smoke an occasional cigar or a cigarette with friends may not damage their health or their relationships.

This article is not a lecture. I can only speak for myself about how I have ended unhealthy habits.

I was a chain-smoker. Whenever I was awake, I had a cigarette in my hands or a cigarette burning in an ashtray at my fingertips. I had an addiction that created cravings when I didn’t smoke.

However, today, I haven’t smoked a cigarette for over thirty years.  Before smoking my last cigarette, I had quit smoking countless times.

I found that I had two problems.  Quitting and staying stopped.

Recognizing the Habit for What It Is

I had two experiences that told me that smoking was very dangerous for me.  First, my father, one of my uncles, and my father’s dad were smokers. All three men developed emphysema and suffered chronic bronchitis, which is common among people who suffer from emphysema.

Second, I had two colds that turned into bronchitis in as many months.

I realized that smoking was a dangerous threat to my health.

Furthermore, I had people who complained to me about how my smoking bothered them. Until I became a non-smoker, I had trouble understanding what I was doing to these people.

Breaking Habits: Admitting the Habit Exist

I reached a point where I could admit to myself that smoking would eventually kill me. Second, I admitted that smoking was selfish and threatened the health of my family and the other people who worked around me.
Furthermore, I had to admit smelling like a smoker had a negative effect on my relationships with other people. Now that I am a non-smoker, I can smell cigarette smoke fifteen feet away.

Finding Healthy Tools

Quitting was never easy. Simple, yes. Easy, no.

The last time I stopped and stayed stopped, I used tools that replaced the elements involved in smoking. I talked to people who had quit. Also, I read articles about the things other people had done to stop and stay stopped.

Furthermore, I would call friends when I craved a cigarette. Talking with them took my mind off my cravings and discomfort.

Here are things helped get through the first two weeks of discomfort.  Part of smoking is the habit of having something between our fingers. I made a chain of paper clips and kept it in my hands to keep my fingers busy. Cravings for a cigarette lasts about 90 seconds. When I became aware that I was craving a cigarette, I would go for a walk to the water fountain or around the atrium at my office.

Knowing that many people ate more when they quit smoking, I began to keep low-calorie foods nearby. For example, crunching on an apple helped me overcome the habit of putting a cigarette in my mouth.

For two weeks, I felt empty-headed. I had trouble concentrating. I understood that this sensation was common and would not last.

Lifestyle Changes

Now that I was not smoking, I felt more comfortable doing more exercise.

I joined a health club and went there each morning before work.

With my wife, I took up co-ed softball and soccer. Also, I coached a couple of adult teams. Then I coached my younger daughter’s soccer team.

Instead of trying to stay off cigarettes, I took up healthy habits that changed my life for the better.  By just giving up cigarettes and doing other things instead, my entire lifestyle changed. I was exercising regularly. My wife and I were making new friends who were active non-smokers as well.

Staying stopped was the real problem. I would go through the discomfort of quitting. Then I would start again.

But by finding healthier things to do, I have become a non-smoker who can’t understand why other people still smoke.

 

Worrying: The Pointless and Painful Abuse of Fear

Worrying:  Fear is a healthy emotion.  However, when we turn our fears over and over in our mind, we experience pain with no purpose.

Things That Worry Me

I am a risk taker.  I stepped out of a secure career in the consumer products industry to start my own business.  At the time, I had no formal training or experience in running a business.

Four years after starting my business, I decided to move from Houston to Sacramento.  In making this move, I did not have any experience in moving a business.  Furthermore, I didn’t even know of anyone who had made that kind of business move.

I was excited about the move, but I was anxious to get to my new home and get busy working again.

For my business to succeed, I continually had to develop new clients and fulfill the terms of my contracts.  At any time, I could easily begin to worry about the outcomes of my work. Additionally, the relocation created a period of greater uncertainty.

My success always depended on the results of my efforts.  However, focusing on the results instead of focusing on doing the things that had always made me successful was painful and pointless.  For me, focusing on results just leads to worrying.

In most cases, I worried about failed outcomes of projects that were successful.

However, I wanted to reach out into the future and create certainty.  But I couldn’t.

If my clients were puppets, I would have been able to end risks.  I could control everything that everyone did.  I would have been able to control results.  However, my clients were not puppets.  I could only control what I did.

Therefore, during the period of uncertainty from my moving my business, I also focused on building tools for managing worrying.

What Worrying Looks Like to Me

When I worry, I hook onto a scary thought.  Then I roll the thought over in my mind.  Instead of finding a solution, I end in a loop of scary thinking that has no ending until the scary event has passed.  And sometimes, in long-term or permanent situations, those scary thoughts never pass.

Things that Worrying Does Do

Worrying is a thief.  It freezes our minds and robs us of the ability to make the decisions that lead to success.

No amount of worrying is going to make problems go away.  Furthermore, worrying about problems distracts us from finding solutions to our problems.

How I Deal with Worrying

Instead of focusing on what might happen in the future, I focus on doing excellent work today.

The future will happen.  I can plan for it.  Furthermore, I can do things that created success in the past.  Beyond that, I can work with people who can help me focus on solutions and options that help me become more successful.

I can itemize the right steps to complete a project.  Instead of worrying, I can focus on completing those steps and only think about the things that create success.

Stress: 7 Steps to a Smarter Way of Living

Stress

Dealing with stress is simple, but it is not always easy. ~ www.jaywren.com

Life’s challenges create pressure.  I can’t always control the world around me.   However, I can reduce stress with my actions.  Here are seven things I do.

I Fight Procrastination.

I feel tremendous stress when I put things off.

Also, thinking about doing a large project from start to finish is often overwhelming.  To reduce stress, I break projects down into multiple, simple steps.

For example, when I am stuck and can’t write an article, I start with writing a title.  I might write one paragraph.  I save what I have written as a draft.   After a few days, I may not come back to work on this draft.  Sometimes, I never come back to finish the article.

That’s okay, because following this method gives me a start to every article I write.

I Write Things Down.

When something is bothering me, I can write it down.  Writing takes the sting out of stress.

If I have something that I need to do but can’t do now, I can write it down.  Having it on my calendar clears my mind for the things I need to do now.

Furthermore, having a plan of action helps me become more productive.  When I become more productive, I have a sense of accomplishment.  I feel less stress.

I Try to Eat Healthy Food First.

When hunger makes me anxious between meals, a snack cuts my anxiety until mealtime.

Although I try, I don’t always snack on the healthiest things.  I must make choices for my snacks.  One of my favorite snacks (not just for desserts!) is ice cream.  Also, I love chocolate-covered peanuts.  One of my favorite snacks is chips and salsa.  It looks like a healthy choice.

But sugary and starchy snacks make me hungrier.  From what I have read, the carbs in sugar and starch, when eaten alone, over stimulate the pancreas to produce a surge of insulin.  The excess insulin drops blood sugar so that I am hungry even though I have just eaten.

Therefore, I try to keep more satisfying snacks handy.  Nuts and peanut butter are calorically dense, but are low in net carbs.  A couple of tablespoons of peanut butter (190 calories, 7 grams of carbs) kills my appetite better than a cup of ice cream (220 calories, 28 grams of carbs).

A slice of Havarti cheese has 80 calories and zero grams of carbs.

I use MyFitnessPal to track my nutrition.  (This is not a paid endorsement.)

Furthermore, I am not a nutritionist, but low-carb, high-fat foods satiate my appetite.  You may find that the same thing works for you.

I Take Breaks!

Being tired creates stress.

No one can run wind sprints all day long.  Breaks make us more productive.  I find that working alone in a virtual office, I can easily forget to take breaks.

To remind myself to move each hour, I have notifications on my calendar to leave my desk and move around.  Simply walking for a few minutes reduces my feeling anxious.

I get plenty of sleep.

Not only do I take breaks. I try to get plenty of sleep.  Allowing my brain to rest enables me to make better decisions. Better decisions increase success and cut stress.

Note: Not taking breaks from work or not getting enough sleep creates stress that can lead to burnout.  We reach a point where overdoing our job cripples us in ways that we can no longer do our job.

I Try to Keep It Real.

It is so easy for me to want to control national or international events.  Thinking that I can control these things is completely fruitless and painfully stressful.

People in forums say things that annoy me.  Correcting them is pointless.  I can’t police the Internet!

Likewise, I can easily believe that I can change other people.  There are things that I can do that affect how other people react.  However, just changing my own behavior is not always easy.  Believing that I can change other people is often impractical.

Frustration over the things I can’t change creates stress.  I try to keep it real about the things that I can change and not change.

I Talk with Friends.

Just having friends helps me beat stress.  Talking to friends gets me out of my own head and into the present moment.  Furthermore, in talking with friends, I get practical information on dealing with challenges in my life, thereby increasing success and reducing stress.

Anger: Managing Your Emotions for a More Powerful Mind

Anger gives us the energy to avoid or overcome danger.  However, managed incorrectly, anger can destroy relationships, ruin careers, and linger forever.

Success starts with a clear mind that is free from anger. ~ www.jaywren.com

Why I Wrote This Article About Anger

I am not a professional mental therapist.  Nor am I qualified to give advice on dealing with emotions.

The reason I wrote this article is that I want to grow emotionally as well as mentally.  I work on building the skills to redirect my anger in ways that are effective and productive.

Although these skills are effective, using them is a conscious daily effort.

All Emotions are Healthy

There are no bad emotions. There are only bad uses of emotions. ~ www.jaywren.com

How I manage my emotions affects how successfully I interact with other people.  If I take my anger out on other people, I build a wall of resentments between the people around me and myself.

Furthermore, if I hang on to negative emotions too long, they can become mental states.  Recovering from negative mental states can take a tremendous amount of effort.  Just recognizing that we are living in a negative state of mind sometimes needs professional attention.

Here are Some of the Things I Do.

I studied Transcendental Meditation™.  Daily, I practice the meditation methods that I learned from my TM™ studies.

I also practice mindfulness meditation.  Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese monk and peace activist during the Vietnam War, brought the practice of mindfulness meditation to the United States.  Mindfulness is a method of focusing on breathing.  I find that just remembering to take a slow breath in and out reduces stress.

Eckhart Tolle is a native German who became a Canadian citizen.  In his book The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment , he teaches how to live mentally in the present moment.  When I start sliding into negative thoughts, I stop and look around. I realize that the things that are bothering me are in my mind.  However, the world is in front of me and around me.  Taking a moment to become aware of the present moment is a very powerful way to find peace and increase focus.

Additionally, I move.  I go for a walk or go into the yard and do a couple of chores.  Exercising helps. I do a few planks, squats, and push-ups. Every hour, I do something to move.  Motion brings me back into the present moment.

These things help me to create a space between my anger and my action.  Doing these things, I can find peace and achieve success with a clear mind that is free from anger.

How to Use Your Emotions to Make Better Decisions

Emotions: How do some people keep a clear mind to make intelligent decisions? Is managing emotions a skill anyone can learn?

There are no bad emotions. There are only bad uses of emotions. ~ www.jaywren.com

Emotions Have Positive Purposes

All feelings help us interpret our world and make decisions.  Even anger, doubt, and fear have positive benefits.  Anger can help us protect ourselves and the people we love.  Doubt helps us avoid doing things before we prepare. Fear can save our lives by avoiding danger.

Additionally, feeling positive is healthy.  When we feel good, we enjoy life more.  Positive feelings reduce mental stress.  Consequently, positive states of mind reduce the unhealthy physical stress that comes from mental stress.

Used correctly, our feelings can give us greater opportunity for success.

Too Low and Too High

When we overreact out of anger or fear, we risk damaging relationships and even our safety.  Additionally, when we let doubt drive us to inaction, we do not take risks that are part of growing personally and professionally.

Can we have emotions that are too high?  Absolutely.  When we are emotionally highs, we see a world of abundance.  And that’s fine up to the point. However, these highs can lead us to spend money and make commitments beyond our means or best interests.

Think Through the Action

The solution to making intelligent decisions in the face of highly charged negative or positive emotions is to think through the action.  I can ask myself, “What are the consequences of acting on my emotions.”
Personal Case Study #1: I am angry with my boss and with other people around the office.  When I vent my anger, am I damaging my relationships and putting my job at risk?

Thinking through my actions to the damage that my actions might cause can reduce the anger that I feel.

Furthermore, I can focus on what changes I can make in myself to reduce the anger I feel toward the people in my office.  I can get more rest, eat healthy snacks, and reduce caffeine.

Personal Case Study #2: I am jubilant about a pay raise and decide to buy a new car.

Before I buy the car, I can think through the costs and whether my pay raise makes the car affordable. Making an expensive purchase is never in my best interest.

Conclusion

All feelings are healthy.  However, sometimes I must do a few things to make my emotions work for me and not against me.

Grumpy versus Grateful: Do We Have a Choice in How We Feel Today?

Grumpy versus Grateful: Why is it that some people manage to find happiness during tough times?
Choosing to Feel Happy Is Good for Our Health.”  ~   www.jaywren.com

Grumpy versus Grateful: Why Does It Matter?

Few people choose to make themselves unhappy. However, many people are unhappy.  Additionally, many of those people don’t know that they have choices in how they feel.

In the case of our careers, holding on to painful feelings can lead to career-ending job burnout.

A Grumpy Versus Grateful List

Here is a comparison table of what I have in mind.  Do you see your job for the things that gripe you or the things that make you can feel grateful?

Grumpy List versus Gratitude List
Negatives Positives
 Income Uncertainty  I have food on the table.
 Long Commute  I have free time for podcasts, music, and radio talk shows.
 Stupid Co-workers  I can lead the team with fresh ideas.
 Boring work  I can infuse my work with creativity.
 Noisy Place   I can focus on my work and not the distractions
 Work is not fulfilling.   I can volunteer for exciting projects.
 Job futility  I create a plan for better tomorrows.

Straight to Grateful

Making a gratitude list every day is one way to ease the pain of tough times.  Another way to feel grateful is to think of some of the good things in our lives before we go to sleep.

Grumpiness Is a Painful, Infectious Life Choice.

Even the most compassionate people struggle to deal with a person who is continually griping.  Constantly having to listen to negativity from other people creates negativity in ourselves.

To draw an analogy, negativity is like an infectious disease.  It spreads from one person to the other.  For example, therapists become infected from listening to the problems of their clients. Because of the negative impact of their jobs, many mental therapists seek help from other therapists to recover from doing their job.

Attitude of Gratitude

In conclusion, gratitude is one of the tools for dealing with tough times.  The method above and other methods of writing things about our troubles can help take the power out of negative thoughts and feelings.

It is healthy to check in with friends to get their ideas on solving problems.

However, it is not okay to hold pity parties for ourselves when we are alone or when we are speaking other people.

Sometimes, just realizing that we have a choice about how we feel is all we need to begin to take the steps to feel grateful.

Finding Confidence in the Face of Fear

Finding Confidence in the Face of Fear

Finding Confidence in the Face of Fear: Do you fear giving a presentation or job interview? Many people have those feelings. How do they deal with them?

Fear is a thief.

Finding Confidence in the Face of Fear

You can have power over fear.  Furthermore, you can enjoy life more, and you can help other people enjoy life more.

We scare ourselves with own thinking.

Imagination plays a big role in creating fear.

Fear is future thinking.  On one hand, we fear that we will lose something we have.  On the other hand, we fear that we will fail to get something we want.

Fear of losing things or failing to get things does not solve any problems.  Furthermore, fear can cripple us mentally.  In this way, fear can block our success.

In the worst case, fear can become a reality by cluttering our mind and keep us from seeing solutions.

Fear is mood related.

If we are in a great mood, we feel less fear.

Thinking about the same thing when we are in a great mood feels very different from thinking about things when we are in a bad mood.

To see the connection between moods and fear, think about the effect of food on your fears.  When you are hungry, your blood sugar drops.  Your body becomes stressed.  You feel anxious.

An hour after you eat, you feel more calm.  Your mood changes.  Your fear becomes less intense.

Fear gets more power when we give it our attention.

When we focus on a scary thought, that thought grows in our mind.  We just suffer more pain.

On the other hand, we can do things to ease our fear and change our focus.

Finding Confidence: These Things May Restore Your Confidence

To overcome fear and restore confidence, some simple things might help.

Get Active.

Go for a walk, lift weights, or do some chores.  Simple motion is the way to overcome fear. Lace up your shoes and pull up your socks.

I try to remind myself to get up and move around every 30 minutes or so anyway. It’s good for the heart.

Meditate.

Meditation is a simple thing.  Repeating a mantra helps.  Focusing on your breathing helps.  Reciting prayers has a similar effect for many people.

Stop procrastinating and act.

Just getting into action of nearly any type can reduce fear.  Additionally, acting to solve the very problems that are frightening us is a healthier way of dealing with fear than ruminating.

To overcome procrastination, just take one simple action.  If you have 10 calls to make, just do the most important one first.

Get Professional Care.

If you find that you suffer chronic fear, discuss the matter with your doctor or a mental health professional. Fear leads to stress. Then, stress leads to bad health.

Stay in the Present Moment.

The only moment we have in life is the present moment.  In that moment, we see and hear the things around us.  Our brains use different pathways and create different, healthier feelings.

Enjoy life.

In conclusion, find freedom from fear.  It is your life.  There is no reason to let fear steal joy from your life.

Staying Healthy for Your Career Increases Your Success

Staying healthy and being successful go hand in hand. ~ www.jaywren.com

I found that when I quit smoking and started exercising, my personal performance doubled.

Steps to Staying Healthy

Get your doctor’s advice before starting an exercise program.

To turn my decision to exercise into action, I set up situations and times to exercise. I involved my family and friends.  Whenever possible, I exercised with my clients.  I found it helpful for staying healthy to involve other people.

Health Clubs

I enjoyed going to a health club for several years. The club had coffee and other beverages. The equipment was ready to use. I could go to the health club on my way to work or during my lunch hour. After exercising, I could shower and shave and go directly to work.

My clients were all over the country.  When we were staying at the same hotel, I would ask some of my clients to join me in exercising.

Sports Teams

Softball games at company picnics may be as common as the potato salad and the barbecue on the menu. I have been to national company meetings where golf, beach volleyball, relays, tennis, and softball were all part of the company activities. Sports may be a terrific way to expand your network within your company, with your clients, and at trade events.

My wife and I played co-ed adult soccer, volleyball, and softball. I coached and played on men’s softball teams.

While playing sports, my wife and I had a wonderful time.  We spent more time with our friends.

Furthermore, we got to exercise when we might otherwise have sat on the sofa and watched television.

Get Sports Partners.

If you do not have friends for golfing, tennis, handball, racquetball, basketball, bowling, running, or other activities, ask your friends or family if they would like to join you for play time.

Buy Inexpensive Equipment.

Finding free exercise equipment is not necessarily easy, but it is far from complicated. For over 10 years, I used an exercise bike in my family room and a weight machine and free weights on my covered patio. I enjoyed using this equipment. Over time, I began to enjoy walking and calisthenics more than I enjoyed sitting on a stationary bike or lifting weights. I listed the equipment on Craigslist and did get a few bucks for my equipment.
I have found listings on Craigslist for free equipment. In some cases, people list equipment just to have someone come to their home and take it away.

Don’t be afraid to negotiate.  I have a friend who listed a Shopsmith™ woodworking table for free on Craigslist. He did not get any calls. Then, he changed the price from free to $50.00. He started getting offers at once and the equipment was gone in 3 days.  However, if anyone had asked, he would have let the equipment don’t for free.

Walk. Run. Lift. Move Your Body.

If you live in a safe area and you do not suffer from injuries or health issues, just walk out the door and walk back in after a great trip around the neighborhood.

Calisthenics can be very effective as well: toe raises, sit ups or crunches, leg lifts, squats, lunges, push-ups, pull ups.

If you want to add a little weight, fill a couple of water bottles with sand and do upper body exercises while marching in place or walking for 15 minutes.

Joining a Class

Physical activity classes are helpful in staying healthy.

There are classes for every activity: yoga, meditation, martial arts, golf, tennis, fencing, horseback riding, casting and fly fishing, ad infinitum. There are also trainers or personal coaches for any sport you can imagine. Before joining a class or signing up for instructions from a stranger, ask around to see what other people have experienced through the classes, place, or person you are considering. You might also check on the Internet to see if people have reviewed the place where you are considering taking a class.

My wife and I joined dancing classes on two occasions. I managed not to embarrass her too badly, and we had a wonderful time. I have also taken classes for golf, meditation (a mental exercise), baseball, and volleyball. Taking classes is a lot of fun, especially when you take them with your family or friends.

Take Exercise Vacations

Rather than go someplace where you sit around a pool or on a beach, go someplace where you can hike, surf, snorkel, fly fish, or take walking tours.

https://www.jaywren.com/even-in-the-lottery-work-comes-before-success

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