“If you’re growing a garden, you need to pull out the weeds, but flowers will die if all you do is pick weeds. They need sunshine and water. People are the same.” From “The Score Takes Care of Itself” by Bill Walsh on the importance of Positive Coaching
Photo by Jean Lucas Camilo on Unsplash
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt
I don’t worry about what other people think. I can’t control what people carry around in their minds. The mental obsession over what other people think doesn’t improve how people see me. Additionally, I can think about better things, the good things in my life and solutions for making my life better.
“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.” Mark Twain
I decide every day what kind of day I am going to have. I can either dread it or stay in the present movement and only think about things as they happen.
Depending on what was going on the day before and what I expect to happen today, I may get out of bed feeling frustrated, grateful, full of great expectation, or not aware of my feelings at all.
My instinct is to grab a cup of coffee and sit down at my desk and dive into my work. This is not a good routine. If I want to love my day, I need to clear my head and decide that I am going to be happy and grateful. Making a gratitude list is a good place to start to brighten my day.
Photo by Jonatan Pie on Unsplash
The best way to change your life today is to decide to be in a good mood.
Jay Wren
Change the subject in your head. Get up and move around. Focus on your surroundings. Breathe. Make a list of your blessings. Just sit still and let painful feelings pass. Talk with a friend. Act to change your mood.
Everyone on the planet has people who have been unkind to them. Happiness comes from how I respond to how people treat me.
Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash
Life is too short to worry about little things. Have fun. Regret nothing.
It is your responsibility to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself before they become fixed in your mind as beliefs. Smile. Say something nice about yourself. Make a list of your blessings.
There are many things that you can do to calm your jitters. Perhaps the most overlooked way is simply to smile. People smile when they are happy. And equally important is that smiling can help you feel happy. “Fake ’till you make it” is an ambiguous term. Some people see it as a disingenuous way of faking your skills. Another view is that faking confidence can help you gain confidence. A smile triggers thoughts that generate happiness.
The smiley face emoji says to other people you approve of what they have to say. Smiling has a similar effect. It tells people you approve of them. It creates trust and helps people open up to you.
You are generating charisma. People find your presence attractive. Your smiling helps people feel more confident and comfortable being around you. In turn, they smile and you feel confident from their signal of approval.
A frown will chase away friends. Ah, but there is something about a smile that attracts people and draws people to you.
So, let it go. When you see people, start with a smile. As people approach, nod and smile. When you are shaking hands with people, look at them and smile.
“Don’t let the world change your smile. Let your smile change the world.” A Work in Progress by Connor Franta
Social anxiety is common. People who are shy are not the only people who experience social anxiety. People who are confident about what they say or do around friends and family may feel social anxiety when they are among strangers or in front of an audience.
Social anxiety can make you avoid opportunities for work, fun, and networking. It can cut your opportunities for leadership roles. Your anxiety can generate signals that make it harder for people to reach out to you.
Photo by Solen Feyissa on Unsplash
Wouldn’t it be great if you could make everyone on the Internet either agree with you or shut the heck up? You betcha. I’ve tried. But they don’t shut up. They just come back and post more stuff to tick you off. I can either embrace them or avoid them.
Beliefs are convictions or assumptions that people hold to be true, even if they can’t be proven or disproven. When issues challenge our beliefs and stir our emotions, we find comfort in seeking information to confirm our beliefs. To think critically, we must free ourselves from our emotions. However, religious, political, and cultural beliefs are not like math or chemistry. These beliefs vary based on ideas that make us feel safe and accepted.
Wow, the Internet is immediate and permanent. And that’s a long time! I see screen captures of deleted Tweets, Facebook posts, and Instagram on the Internet all the time.
I have posted and deleted material I later thought might possibly be sketchy. When my gut tells me that I am posting something sketchy, I side with my gut. There is absolutely nothing I can post in a forum that is worth my reputation.
I love Internet forums. I read forums for fun and for information.
But forums have a sneaky way of getting readers into a blind date with a troll. A few months ago, I made the mistake of giving my opinion as opposed to the facts on a forum, only to find that a troll challenged me to explain myself. Answering the person would only have made the conversation grow. How wonderful, I could have a relationship with a troll! I deleted the comment.
On a gut level, the idea of trolling has some appeal. You know, you create a sneaky identity just to sound off with your opinions and set people right. But this tactic has a price, especially when people lift your covers. I read an article a few months ago about a politician who spent $35,000 to find the identity of a troll. And he found him!
Occasionally, I read an offensive post, something intended to tick people off, at least tick some people. These posts have a magic for creating rants and counter rants. People who know how to troll take as much or more pleasure in making people angry as they do in attracting people who agree with them. Reacting to trolling just raises the post in forum streams. I just let it go, let it go, let it go. ♫ ♫ ♫
The web is rife with political stuff during political seasons. Most people have a bias more than a brain when it comes to politics. Politicians do not give people information. They give people sound bites, clickbait and headlines to chum the waters for political fish. People can rise to the bait suck it up. But political chum is less cool in business and social forums. When I see people posting chum in my Internet feeds, I unfollow them. See ya, not. Don’t want your tweets. Don’t want your face on Facebook. Don’t want your political wisdom on LinkedIn. No, no, no, not now, not ever.
I don’t unfriend them or disconnect from them all the time. I just unfollow Friends Who Post Politics on the Internet.
Beliefs and claims are important elements in critical thinking because they provide the foundation for reasoning and evaluating evidence. Beliefs are convictions or assumptions that a person holds to be true, even if they can’t be proven or disproven. They often shape a person’s perspective and understanding of the world. Claims, on the other hand, are statements that can be evaluated based on evidence. In critical thinking, it is important to distinguish between beliefs and claims. One should not take their beliefs as fact without evaluating the evidence and reasoning behind them. Additionally, one should evaluate claims by examining the evidence and reasoning presented, and considering alternative perspectives.It is also important to be aware of one’s own beliefs, and to be open to re-evaluating them in light of new evidence. This allows for more accurate and fair evaluations of claims.Overall, critical thinking requires a balance of considering one’s own beliefs and claims, while also evaluating the evidence and reasoning behind them.
Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash
Great leaders have things in common. They also have different ways to find their individual greatness.
Here are eight ways you can find your own individual greatness.
Find the beat of your own drum and march to it.
It is so easy for me to get distracted and off course when I look at what other people are doing and imitate those people. What I often find is that the direction that those people are going is completely off track from where I want to be. If I can just trust the beat of my drum, I can stay on task, trust my instincts, and create work that is original and produces fantastic results.
Be happy today.
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. ” Buddha
Happiness is an inside job. When I feel sad, I acknowledge that I am sad. I do not focus on the things that I believe are making me sad. Often my feelings come along and I seem to find ideas to hang them on. I admit that I am sad, I experience the feeling of sadness, and I let it pass on its way. If I do not attach ideas to my feelings, most of the time my feelings only hang around for a minute or two, and I get a fresh, often invigorating sense of my world.
Focus on doing things accurately.
My baseball coaches said see the ball and hit the ball. In football, the coaches said see the ball and catch the ball. Watch the baseball all the way into your bat. Watch the football all the way into your hands and arms.
Create new things instead of perfecting old things.
I have worked drafts of articles so many times that I have lost track of what I had in mind when I started writing the article. I have found that the best way to work on any project and carry it forward to the finish is to write a statement of what I want to do. Second, I create an outline of the things that I need to do to do the task. Third, I fill in the details of completing the task. Whether I am washing my car or writing an article, the process of the same.
Keep projects simple.
The steps are pretty much the same for each project
| Wash Car | Write Article |
| Tools: bucket, soap, sponge, towels, water hose | Tools: Laptop |
| Spray the car. | List paragraph headings |
| Sponge wash car. | Write material to match
headings. |
| Rinse the car. | Proofread the article. |
| Dry the car. | Post the article on my website. |
Finding Your Individual Greatness through Personal Growth
Emphasize the things that are working and build on those things.
Sometimes it is easy for me to get off track, discouraged, and lose my sense of direction. When this happens, I can focus on the things that I did when things were working and simply repeat those things.
Keep an open mind to new ideas to simplify and make your life easier.
I see new, simple, even free ways to do the same things that have been a struggle. I created the table above in Microsoft Word. For anyone who has ever tried to insert a table in a website, you will know that tables make some material easier to read and the table can be a challenge to create and support through editing.
Take criticism as suggestions that can help you.
I remember working with an applicant on her resume. She told me that the things that I told her she had already covered with other recruiters and had even had her resume written professionally. I said simply that I understood and that the only thing that mattered is that she manages her resume in the way that she feels will be most effective for getting her interview.
Photo by Nabil Naidu on Unsplash
Changing my attitude creates self-wins. Sometimes I believe that I need to negotiate better conditions at work. A good place to start those negotiations is with that voice between my ears.
Jay Wren
Photo by Luke Chesser on Unsplash
You must be logged in to post a comment.