Habits: Giving Up the Behavior that Weakens Our Careers

Habits: The things we don’t do are as important as the things we do to be a winner in the workplace. Here are eight things to avoid as you work to build a successful career and become a leader among your peers.

Often, it’s the things that we don’t do that count the most. ~ www.jaywren.com

The Pitfalls to Winning Behavior

Some of the pitfalls to winning behavior are habits that seem normal, but annoy others and detract from our accomplishments.  I have been guilty of some of the things I am going to discuss.  Seeing the harm of these habits has helped me become more engaged with other people and more mindful of their needs and interests. In ways that I can’t measure, avoiding these behaviors has help me build relationships and increase my professional network.

1. Using Long, Uncommon Words

Building your vocabulary is a good practice. However, using big words to try to sound intelligent and impress people is phony and annoying.  Furthermore, using long or uncommon words confuses people and detracts from your point.

It is narcissistic to throw around words that few people know or that people know as pretentious. You become like a person who poses in front of the mirror in a public restroom.

As a lesson about my own use of words that meant little but I used to impress others, my Mother once said to me, “You are so bombastic and I am so illiterate that you will have to elucidate for me to comprehend.” Lesson delivered; lesson learned.

2. Using Facilities and Parking for the Handicapped

People who need handicapped facilities have no choice.  They need them when they need them.

Abusing the use of handicapped parking is not only annoying, it is illegal.  Most states have stiff fines for using handicapped parking without legal authorization.  Furthermore, most people have no tolerance for people who abuse the use of handicapped parking.

Restroom facilities become more challenging, because some locations only have one or stalls.  I have been in a one-stall restroom when a person in a wheelchair was waiting in line. The situation was awkward even though I had no choice. The best practice is, whenever possible, to defer to people who might need the handicapped facility.

3. Yacking on Your Cell Phone

There is something odd about strangers carrying on a conversation on a cell phone when they are next to you.

They have entered your space and are holding a conversation that doesn’t involve you.

I have been guilty of using a cell phone in a supermarket.  As my wife gave me instructions on the things that she wanted me to buy, I passed one shopper three times.  The third time he suggested that I stop walking around talking on my phone and make a list.

This was an awakening to me just how easily cell conversations annoy the people around us.

Around the office, it is good to be aware when you are carrying on cell phone conversations around people who aren’t involved in the discussion.

4. In Meetings, Act Like You Belong

Texting and sending emails on a phone at the wrong time can be just as annoying.

At work, you can quickly annoy people, including people you need to impress.  Look at the situation.  You are in a meeting, and everyone is discussing the topic of the meeting.  Your mind wanders from the discussion, and you suddenly feel the urge to send a message or read your email.

You mind tells you that you must deal with your priorities. However, you are creating a distraction for everyone in the room.  People who are in a meeting are mentally like members in a marching band.  They are in coordination. When you start texting or sending emails, you break step and become a distraction.

5. Habits of Blocking the Exits

Blocking the exits or any other passageway is annoying.  Some people do not know how to navigate blocked hallways or aisles.  Other people feel awkward asking to get past.

People often gather at the entrance to meetings or at the door when leaving.  If this is a problem in your office, I recommend that the senior person in the room ask people not to block the door when they are leaving.

On the other hand, if you do need to get past people in a blocked passageway, simply say, “Pardon me.

6. Constant Complaining

Negative information creates bad moods.  A constant flow of negative information destroys morale and increases turnover.

Everyone has problems.  Solving those problems makes you look like a leader.  Whining about those problems not only is annoying.  It soon makes you look incompetent.

Instead of complaining, especially constant complaining, focus on solutions.

7. Self-Reference

Receiving credit for your work is a crucial step in the path to success.  However, constantly talking about yourself is annoying and makes people see you as shallow.

If you are not receiving credit for the work you are doing. talk with your managers.  Having them reference your accomplishments is far more effective than when you are doing it.  Furthermore, avoiding this behavior has helped me build a strong network.

Additionally, give credit to other people for their accomplishments.  People not only enjoy receiving credit.  They often remember the people who helped them receive credit.  This type of winning behavior will help you build a powerful network.

8. Habits – Trying to Be Funny

I remember an article that helped me know that not everyone understands the impact of their failed attempts at humor.  The author started his article with religious jokes.  These jokes were off topic.

The jokes weren’t clever.  They were flippant.  Furthermore, they distracted from the point of the article.

The author was undermining his own work, by not practicing winning behavior.

Fate and Luck: Playing Comes Before Winning

Fate and Luck: Luck comes to those who act.  Fate decides who wins.  But acting often and acting smarter increases our odds of turning fate in our favor.

In life or in cards, we can’t win without playing.
~ www.jaywren.com

Fate and Luck

I have had good luck and bad luck.  But without work, I could not have had the luck to do so many things I enjoy.

My luck in college increased greatly when I realized that I didn’t have to be the smartest student in the room.  I had to put luck on my side by doing the things that, for me, were necessary to be as successful as people smarter than I was.

I was lucky to get into Naval Officer Candidate School. However, if I had not worked hard in college, I would not have had the opportunity to apply for NOCS and become a bridge officer on the carrier, USS Midway.

Also, I had the good luck to work at two major consumer companies. However, the time and effort I put into college and into my work as an officer in the Navy paved the way for me to get an interview with these companies.
Adrenal hormone in ED is not much clear, but many diagnostic reports predict its role in male impotence. *

As a business owner, I had success and frustration.  I learned early on that I could not control the results.  Results are about fate.  However, by making more phone calls, working extra hours, adjusting to changes in technology, I had the good fortune to run a successful business for thirty years.

You Can’t Control the Results

Some you win. Some you lose. Some get rained out.  The results are fate.  We work hard.  We do the correct things.  But the world changes. Technology, industrial dynamics, economics, and other things change.  Things beyond our control change.

However, you can do the things that influence the outcome.  For example, poker is a game of betting on the cards you have and the cards you hope to have.

However, great poker players know as well as anyone how fate controls the outcome of a hand.  Holding aces never guarantees a win.  But playing the hand, and playing it smartly, increases the odds of winning. And great poker players win often.

Not only in poker, but in everything I do, I play to win.  I know that taking the right action increases my chances of success.

Network Event Anxiety: Tools and Skills for Success

Network Event Anxiety: becoming effective at networking events may require that you step outside of your comfort zone. Meeting new people, especially for introverts is never easy. At times, extroverts feel awkward when networking. Feeling uncertain in new situations is common, perhaps even normal. 

Preparation for Overcoming Network Event Anxiety

Talking with strangers is easy for me. However, I have had times when I show up at an event and felt anxious about approaching people I don’t know. These experiences have shown me the importance of preparing for the things I want to accomplish and the people I want to meet.

Furthermore, if networking events are difficult for you, the things I do may help you become more confident and more successful when meeting people  by bringing the tools and developing the skills for overcoming network-event anxiety

Where to Start Upon Arrival

To gain confidence, I start with people I think I would enjoy meeting. If I am attending a trade show, I may go by a booth where I know the products and the people. Sometimes meeting with current clients put a face with a voice. Sometimes people I know will introduce me to the people who are standing next to them. Close clients or friends are often quick to introduce me to people other people in their group.

There is a flow in meeting people. As I meet more people, my confidence grows. I get into the mental flow of meeting new people.

Prepare Materials When Event Networking

Taking the correct tools is one of the most important thing I can do for meeting success of overcoming network event anxiety. I do take my smartphone. But I try not to use it. The whole purpose of event networking is meeting people in person. I do like to work with a pen and paper. I take a leather-bound portfolio with a legal pad. The binder makes it easy for me to take notes without bending over a table.

I carry a one-inch-thick stack of business cards.  Also, I keep my cards in one pocket and the cards of the people I meet in a second pocket. When I leave an event with many new contacts, I want to put them into my expanding database of contacts. The cards make building this database possible. For people who do not have cards, I make notes on their contact information on my legal pad.

If people are handing out brochures, I take brochures that contain names and contact information for people I want in my database. Often, especially at trade shows, the event planners provide the name of the companies that are in attendance. The brochures become lists of companies I may want to prospect in the future.

Additionally, this brochure helps me find my way around and create lists of additional people to contact as the event moves along. Therefore, I can expand on my plan to meet even more people.

List Contacts in Advance of Event Networking

I make a list of people I specifically want to meet. By making a list of people I want to meet, I can reduce the stress on me through preparation for seeing the people. I can also do a better job of seeing the people I need to see.

If there is a brochure of attendees, I may go down early or even the day before the event to get a copy of the list before the event. The night before the events, I expand on my plans of whom to meet and in what order I meet them.

Weeks leading up to the event, I call or email people to make plans for meeting them. I do not always make an appointment with them. Networking events are free flowing. However, I can let them know of my interest in seeing them.

For the appointments that I do schedule, I get people’s phone number to call do that I can call them if plans change for either them or me.

Things to Discuss When Event Networking

Remember some basics.

  1. If speaking with new people makes you uncomfortable, prepare things to say and questions to ask.
  2. Show an interest in what the other person is saying. The interest you take in the other person reduces your self-consciousness.
  3. Ask the person questions about points that interest you.
  4. Congratulate the person upon successes.
  5. Listen with empathy.
  6. Connect with what the person is saying from their point of view. Ask questions about how they reached conclusions or solved problems.

The Positive Side of Network-Event Anxiety

Anxiety is a signal that tells us to expect things. If we use that signal as a message to prepare for our meetings, we can do a better job of getting ready and our meetings will go better. Moreover, I anxiety will go down.

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